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Unwritten laws of what it is to be a man.

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  • Unwritten laws of what it is to be a man.

    How about a listing of the 'unwritten laws' of what it is to be a man?
    I know this can be a hard thing to do but let's list them anyway ... maybe some laughs along the way would be in order.
    So everyone add a "LAW".

    The List:

    Always help the elderly cross the street - particularly a Lady.

  • #2
    Men have unlimited freedom with the TV remote. Flicking quickly through 100 channels is fun!

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    • #3
      Scratching and/or adjusting is socially accecptable anytime anywhere.

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      • #4
        It is perfectly okay for a man to go bare chested in public, and to wear his pants so low, his underwear shows.

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        • #5
          Selective hearing

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          • #6
            Never lift your leg when passing wind in the presence of women, it's less noisy and more dignified.

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            • #7
              Every time I try to write down an unwritten law it ends up written. This is just another one of your sneaky tricks ain't it nacktman? There otta be a law.

              b.l.

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              • #8
                If you ask for directions your man membership will be revoked, lol.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by jon71:
                  If you ask for directions your man membership will be revoked, lol.
                  I had to chuckle at that one, its so funny and yet so true!

                  Pete Knight

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                  • #10
                    Never get caught being teary eyed during a sad movie!

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                    • #11
                      "A man is only as old as the woman he is feeling.."

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                      • #12
                        a man never gets lost when driving! we are just taking a different route.

                        "love life as your a long time dead"

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                        • #13
                          a man never admits he need to see a doctor!

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                          • #14
                            nudenwv:"a man never admits he need to see a doctor!"

                            ...unless he is dating her.

                            Bob S.

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                            • #15
                              Let's rewrite the laws! This just in from one of my MySpace friends:

                              I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

                              FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

                              Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

                              I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

                              So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

                              She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

                              Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

                              The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

                              She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

                              Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

                              She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

                              I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

                              Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

                              I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

                              And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

                              Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

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