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  • trust?

    friends, you trust them but how? how do you that a friend isn't lying when he/she says "you can trust me"? how can you trust anyone? it is so easy for someone else to lie in your face. they make you feel so good inside when they honestly couldn't care less about you!

    WHAT THE HELL IS TRUST? DOES IT EVEN EXIST AT ALL?

  • #2
    People often confuse acquaintances with friends. Friends will give it up for you, and you them.

    I have some Marine Corps people, and a couple of other scruffy girls and guys that I've latched on to along the way that I call friends, the rest are acquaintances.

    I trust them with my life and my dog's life...that's trust. They get the same in return from me.

    Acquaintances do not rise to that level. If you have to ask if you can trust someone, that is prima facie evidence that they are not your friend.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by usmc1:
      People often confuse acquaintances with friends. Friends will give it up for you, and you them.

      I have some Marine Corps people, and a couple of other scruffy girls and guys that I've latched on to along the way that I call friends, the rest are acquaintances.

      I trust them with my life and my dog's life...that's trust. They get the same in return from me.

      Acquaintances do not rise to that level. If you have to ask if you can trust someone, that is prima facie evidence that they are not your friend.
      Good answer!

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      • #4
        Yes, usmc1, that is a good answer.

        Trust is something that is earned and comes through the evolution of a friendship. I think too many people confused trust with expectations.. When you first meet someone you don't have an issue with trust as it is not a concern. You don't meet someone and think you can trust them. If you do, you are setting yourself up for huge disappointments. Back in the day, to some who may be aware of it, Gestalt Therapist, Fritz Perl, wrote: You are not in this world to live up to my expectations ... nor am I in this world to live up to yours. When you hold certain expectations with one of those as trusting when you meet people, you will be disappointed. Trusting someone comes with time and with the relationship.

        As usmc1 said, if they are truly friends, then there will be trust.

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        • #5
          great post! i think trust comes in when you feel comfortable with someone to share things with. start out little before you tell the big things. if none of the little things get back it's safe to say your home free (if there is such a thing).

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          • #6
            Trust comes after a long period of friendship.

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            • #7
              The one thing I have experienced with our complex is that generally nudists are trustwothy.

              We have never had anything stolen the apartments are generally left unlocked or with the door open.
              If anything gets broken it is always reported or replaced.

              Our complex is secure and only open to guests
              who have keys to get in and out of the complex, perhaps that helps.

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              • #8
                I have been hurt more than once because I thought that I could trust someone. IMHO, you have to chose to trust someone. I only trust someone after I know them well, and some people I know very well and still do not trust, I get along with them fine, but I would not call them a friend.

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                • #9

                  USMC said it well. Trust comes with time when those you interact with prove worthy of taking the relationship to a deeper level. They do that by doing what they say they will do and you the same. It comes from being called on to give more and being happy to go the extra mile. Few in my life are called friends, though many are called acquaintances.

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                  • #10
                    Hey usmc1. This is a darn good point you have made here about a true friend. I come from a military background myself even though I personally did not serve in the armed forces. I am an Air Force Brat. But I have grown up around people from all four of the major branches of the military. Actually, a lot of my friends are Marines. I have come to learn that when a Marine befriends you, you have a real bonafide friend that you CAN really trust. That's just the way they are because most of them will go all out for you. My close friend, who served in the Marine Corps, told me this sincerely. If anything ever happens to me and I survive, I will always have a place to stay until I get back on my feet again. An example to this is if your home should burn down. He told me he didn't care if it happened in the middle of the night or wee hours of the morning! He himself gave this definition of friendship; a friend is someone who will die for you if necessary. For example, you may need an organ transplant to save your life like a kidney or liver. That friend would unselfishly donate his or hers so you can live. I don't know how some of you here on the forum feel about that being on the extreme side or not. Nevertheless, that is how he feels about friendship. So, me personally, I can say I certainly would TRUST him with my life without question. And I would do the same for him!

                    Ken Palmer


                    Originally posted by usmc1:
                    People often confuse acquaintances with friends. Friends will give it up for you, and you them.

                    I have some Marine Corps people, and a couple of other scruffy girls and guys that I've latched on to along the way that I call friends, the rest are acquaintances.

                    I trust them with my life and my dog's life...that's trust. They get the same in return from me.

                    Acquaintances do not rise to that level. If you have to ask if you can trust someone, that is prima facie evidence that they are not your friend.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I like what usmc1 says but I think I would use another term rather than "friend" to describe only those select few. After all, how would I break that to my 7000 MySpace and Facebook "friends" ;-) .

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                      • #12
                        I once heard this saying (I think it went something like this):

                        Friends are there to pick you up when you fall and if they cant then they will lay down beside you.

                        I have many types of friends: some that i play sports with, some that i party with and some that i work with. I know that each one of them would be there to try to pick me up when i'm down. But out of all of them only a couple of them would lay down beside me if they couldnt pick me up.

                        Those couple of friends are the only ones I trust.

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                        • #13
                          It is just like asking what is love? How will I know I am in love? Oh, believe me, you'll know.

                          Trust is an extention of a relationship beit familial, friendship, or romantic. There is a big difference between an empty "you can trust me" and a heartfelt "you can trust me." The difference is who says it and the relationship you have with them. Is your relationship more superficial? If so, then there really is no reason for trust. Not saying they are not trustworthy, but that you cannot implicitly trust them.

                          When you know someone on a deeper level, the trust is implicit. There is a deeper kind of bond that you feel, one that can be described as fraternal or love.

                          If you ever have to ask yourself, the bond is not there and there is no guarantee of trust.

                          But if course, those who are closest to you can shatter your idea of trust more than those who you don't know well. When that happens, the existential questions of the nature of trust are thrust out through the gushing wound of your heart. And when you lose your definition of trust, you lose your ability to trust for a while afterwards as skepticism is what repairs the heart after a broken trust.

                          Good luck trying to find out how to trust again, EMO.

                          Bob S.

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                          • #14
                            Often times, people who you should be able to trust will violate this trust. Even family members will do this.

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                            • #15
                              As for my $.02, I tend to follow agent Mulder's motto, "Trust No One".

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