This is really nerve-wracking for me to talk about, but I have gynecomastia, or breast tissue in males. I am 6'0", 160 pounds, and have approximately AA cup size breasts. That may seem small but I am quite lanky/lean and they really are obvious on my frame. They emerged with puberty, which is common. Sometimes they go away soon after puberty begins, but they did not for me.
Middle and high school were hell, in the sense that I got a lot of looks, comments, jokes, etc. that really really hurt me. I had/have anxiety attacks whenever we had to play "shirts and skins" in gym, at pool parties or the beach, or any other time I had to remove my shirt in front of others.
My involvement in nude recreation has helped some: when in a nudist context I don't have anxiety attacks. I am however constantly aware of them and am very self-conscious of them. I usually drape my towel around my neck to cover them. I can't help but think others are looking at me and thinking how weird I look.
This effects every area of my life. I am ALWAYS conscious of my breasts, and often wear an undershirt or a-shirt in order to compress them a little. I hate running because the wind causes my shirt to stick to my body which gives away the form, and they bounce which is incredibly embarrassing.
I am HEAVILY considering cosmetic surgery. It is the only treatment. It is not covered by medical insurance because it is an elective and cosmetic procedure. It would only be covered if it was causing a health problem, but what about mental health? I personally cannot afford the surgery and my parents would not be supportive of cosmetic surgery.
My fiancee loves my body and accepts me for who I am. She is an absolute angel. But even with that support it's still a personal thing that she could never fully understand. I try to tell her to imagine what it would be like to only have one breast or no breasts and go through middle and high school getting teased for it, to never be able to wear a cute swimsuit, how that would make her feel as a woman. She tries but she couldn't understand as she is a perfect 10 physically.
The only ways I could finance the operation would be my wealthy grandfather who may understand my situation and be willing to support it, or else get loans.
I am getting married in 14 months. I want to leave this burden behind me and start my life with my wife with no self-consciousness and shame. I know they say beauty can't bring happiness, but in this case it's just so oppressive for me. It truly would be a life-changing experience to be free of this.
I'm not sure why I'm writing all this. Does anyone else have this condition or know someone who does, and how does naturism fit in?
Middle and high school were hell, in the sense that I got a lot of looks, comments, jokes, etc. that really really hurt me. I had/have anxiety attacks whenever we had to play "shirts and skins" in gym, at pool parties or the beach, or any other time I had to remove my shirt in front of others.
My involvement in nude recreation has helped some: when in a nudist context I don't have anxiety attacks. I am however constantly aware of them and am very self-conscious of them. I usually drape my towel around my neck to cover them. I can't help but think others are looking at me and thinking how weird I look.
This effects every area of my life. I am ALWAYS conscious of my breasts, and often wear an undershirt or a-shirt in order to compress them a little. I hate running because the wind causes my shirt to stick to my body which gives away the form, and they bounce which is incredibly embarrassing.
I am HEAVILY considering cosmetic surgery. It is the only treatment. It is not covered by medical insurance because it is an elective and cosmetic procedure. It would only be covered if it was causing a health problem, but what about mental health? I personally cannot afford the surgery and my parents would not be supportive of cosmetic surgery.
My fiancee loves my body and accepts me for who I am. She is an absolute angel. But even with that support it's still a personal thing that she could never fully understand. I try to tell her to imagine what it would be like to only have one breast or no breasts and go through middle and high school getting teased for it, to never be able to wear a cute swimsuit, how that would make her feel as a woman. She tries but she couldn't understand as she is a perfect 10 physically.
The only ways I could finance the operation would be my wealthy grandfather who may understand my situation and be willing to support it, or else get loans.
I am getting married in 14 months. I want to leave this burden behind me and start my life with my wife with no self-consciousness and shame. I know they say beauty can't bring happiness, but in this case it's just so oppressive for me. It truly would be a life-changing experience to be free of this.
I'm not sure why I'm writing all this. Does anyone else have this condition or know someone who does, and how does naturism fit in?
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