Other people's reactions

[yfenni]

I am one of those people who don't care a bit if people see me naked, especially if circumstances warrant it, e.g. exceptionally hot weather. However, should I, in deference to the few people (and these seem to be an ever-reducing minority) take appropriate action when they appear and I happen to be in the buff? An instance I can think of is if my next door neighbour (of the opposite sex) should suddenly walk in through the back door when I am in my totally secluded garden? Or, on the other hand should I brazen it out and and simply say: I am sorry, but I thought I would take full advantage of this sunshine?

[yfenni]

I am one of those people who don't care a bit if people see me naked, especially if circumstances warrant it, e.g. exceptionally hot weather. However, should I, in deference to the few people (and these seem to be an ever-reducing minority) take appropriate action when they appear and I happen to be in the buff? An instance I can think of is if my next door neighbour (of the opposite sex) should suddenly walk in through the back door when I am in my totally secluded garden? Or, on the other hand should I brazen it out and and simply say: I am sorry, but I thought I would take full advantage of this sunshine?

[hatesclothes]

quote:

Originally posted by yfenni:
I am one of those people who don't care a bit if people see me naked, especially if circumstances warrant it, e.g. exceptionally hot weather. However, should I, in deference to the few people (and these seem to be an ever-reducing minority) take appropriate action when they appear and I happen to be in the buff? An instance I can think of is if my next door neighbour (of the opposite sex) should suddenly walk in through the back door when I am in my totally secluded garden? Or, on the other hand should I brazen it out and and simply say: I am sorry, but I thought I would take full advantage of this sunshine?

I think the 'correct' answer to this Q has a couple of answers....
1) you have the legal right to be nude on yr own property, esp. if it is secluded (here in 'The Colonies', at least :-)
2) Christian teachings are that we should treat others as we would have them 'do unto us'. Blatnat nudity, as any blatant behavior: smoking, drinking, swearing Can be annoying.
Best to err on the side of not offending others.

[Petrus]

I believe that you should say something on the lines of” Oh you caught me by surprise-now you know my secret” Don’t rush around trying to cover up and only if they are very obviously discomforted ask if they want you to dress. It is your home and garden, so people should accept you as you are, if they come in uninvited.

I was out in the garden this morning, when I realised that my next-door neighbour but one P. was in next-door’s garden tending their plants. It transpired next door were on holiday for a fortnight in Greece and as they usually spend most of the school holidays in their Florida home, I imagine that P will be pottering around their garden for the next few weeks. One of their windows overlooks our patio and I had asked her some years ago whether she minded me sunbathing nude on it and she says they would not bothered. Since then I have extended my nude territory to the whole garden and they must have caught sight of me at times. She said “Hello” and after exchanging a few pleasantries, I ask her if she minded me being nude (I felt I should confirm as it may have been different just across the fence) and she said it was fine. My immediate next-door neighbour says she is not bothered in the slightest- she caught me some years ago, when I thought she was out.

[luvnaturism]

Years ago my first wife and I were friends with the neighbors on both sides of us, and there were times when either of them might walk unannounced through the gate to our totally private back yard. When we took up skinny dipping in our pool I just told the neighbors about it. After that they called out before they came around the corner.

If I found myself in the case you describe--female neighbor catches you nude in your private garden--I'd probably casually walk to my towel and wrap it around me, but I wouldn't hurry or otherwise give any impression of being embarrassed. Also I might make a small joke ("Oops, you caught me), but no apology.

If you think this is something likely to actually happen, then why not just tell her, "Give me some warning before you come to my garden unless you don't mind if I'm not dressed."? Our current neighbors have shrubbery growing on their side of our common fence. Some of the pruning is easier to do from our side than theirs, and sometimes she has asked if she could come into our yard for that purpose. The first time I told her, "Sure. Phone ahead if you'd be more comfortable if I'm dressed; otherwise just come on over when you're ready." She came without calling, so I assumed that she didn't care that I was nude. We were both fine with the situation, which has been repeated several times.

[Baron Lake]

Living on 20 acres of Sierra Nevada foothill property, 80 percent of which is viewable by 6 or so of my neighbors from their houses, I gave up years ago caring (mostly) about the reactions of others who might see me going about without clothing.
A recent exception however involves my closest neighbors who are in the process of trying to sell their house. They called to ask if I might put some shorts on when a prospective buyer shows up. All visits are by appointment (accompanied by realtor) and they would call with "warning". It seems they lost a prospect who showed up ahead of the realtor and while waiting saw me in our small vineyard and were so "shocked" they immediately drove off. (Suits me, actually, wouldn't want them for neighbors anyhoo). I have no problem "dressing up" for the occasion since they are great neighbors, nice people, and are only moving a hundred yards up the road to a new house.
The realtor actually laughed when she heard about the people driving off. Her response was something like "..god what do people expect when they move to the country?" I suspect she might drop a "hint" or two about foothill lifestyles to future prospects.
b.l.

[DoctorSurferDude]

Well.....does your neighbor make it a habit to walk into your garden unannounced?

I think if your garden is secluded, then you are not offending a soul in sight, since there are none. If your neighbor visits unannounced, then you can either make it known to them and their spouse...OR....put up a little sign on your gate saying "clothing optional beyond this point" or "you may encounter nude sunbathing beyond this point" That way he/she is warned.

[fre2bnude]

I used to worry quite a lot about others seeing me nude and not wanting to cause offense. But now as time has passed I worry less and less and almost welcome them seeing me. I think it's all to do with having my way of life out in the open and not secretive, I also keep telling various people, friends and others that I sunbathe nude, to see their reactions.
But, up till recently I've not really been seen by anyone other than my wife, until yesterday evening. I like to go on our secluded balcony early evening and sit and have a beer before we have our dinner. Yesterday I came down to get something from the garage, still nude, and when I came out I was face to face with a neighbours young wife with her little daughter, she had come to see my wife. I felt a bit bad about it mainly because the child was there, the child of course thought nothing of it and wasn't "traumatised" at all. The mother was slightly embarrassed but didn't seem too fazed. Afterwards when I had my shorts on we all had a normal conversation without any embarrassment at all.
This might seem nothing to most of you, but for me being a home nudist only it was a big step in the right direction of social nudity.
I do think that if her daughter had not been with her I might not have been so swift in getting away from her sight and would have spoken normally. Now when I think about the incident I'm pleased that it happened, another person knows what I do.

[JohnE44]

I started a morning thing last summer.I get up for work at 4 am so i hve my coffe on my baek porch most of the time I end up walking around my yard.I know when everyone on the street starts to get up . The one morning it was before 5 and I was in my side yard ( open to everyone) and a car came down the street it was my paper carrier I had no place to hide and she saw me I though if I ran it would look like I was doing somthing wrong.She did not seem embarrassed obout it and has not changed her times By the way i found it is a good way to start your day nude and with a coffe

[RalphVa]

I told a realtor in NJ that we wanted a place where we could go naked in our back yards. Her reply, "Oh, we all do that!"

Ended up being transfered to Baton Rouge instead. Was using my Troy Bilt shredder naked one day with the door of the barn open to shield me working just around the corner. Unbeknowsed to me, the door blew shut. Next thing I knew, I was looking at my neighbor getting into her car next door. She's the one who popped out of the bushes and said, "You're putting up a fence", when we were doing just that. She could still see me way back in the back from her house if she wanted to. She'd call ahead when they were planning a back yard party. I stepped out onto the back deck of my barn and saw her daughter's cheer leader troup just over the fence. She or her daughter didn't warn me about that.

I was very casual about going to the mailbox naked and mowing my grass about 100 yards from the front of the driveway for about 4 years here in Va before someone complained. Then I piped up about liking "naked gardening" at church. That got me in trouble there. So, I'm only naked in my back yard of 8 acres now and wearing kinda minimal suits out front.

[EuropeMan]

Nudists tend to confuse two things:

Truly, many people are not willing to be seen nude (other than by a partner, for instance) and quite often may even not want to be nude on their own, let alone do not enjoy their own nudity even in a secluded area.

But this does not mean that they are personally annoyed or "offended" by the fact that other people are nude, and know (and agree) they are seen so.

In some cases, their only object due the fact that, in many places, being seen nude is disallowed (by law or by convention); or by the potential for others to be "offended". More people believe that others will be annoyed, than are themselves.
In particular, one may want to care for children which would supposedly be is distress by seeign someone just being nude. While this care deserves respect, it is generally an overkill, since the most probable reaction of children are of indifference or curiosity - or they will just start a big laugh.

The test case would be places where, legally, nudity is allowed unless somebody complains. This seems to be the case (legally, even if not "accepted") in Spain and Denmark. I would wonder how many/few people are actually complaining.

[Old Hippie]

quote:

Originally posted by EuropeMan:
More people believe that others will be annoyed, than are themselves.


The test case would be places where, legally, nudity is allowed unless somebody complains. This seems to be the case (legally, even if not "accepted") in Spain and Denmark. I would wonder how many/few people are actually complaining.

. That is the question, is it not? Are there actual complaints, or merely the general apprehension that someone might complain.

. That same sort of fear has led to the amusing disclaimers we see on manufactured goods ("do not use this electric shaver under water"), and so forth. Still, I wonder if the level of political "correctness" -actually social fear - has not led us to shrink back from actions which we might otherwise perform, and accept the notion that we *might* have to apologize afterward.
, for me, I still like the notion that "it is easier to beg forgiveness than to get permission". I would welcome a society in which people could make a statement or act in an unusual way; then if politely confronted ("that bothers me; please stop"), be willing to say "Oops, sorry." and no big deal is made of it.


I'd love to walk out to the curb and fetch my paper without bothering to wear shorts. I am quite certain that at least one of the neighbors with young girls would complain; the problem is, that complaint would likely go, not to me, but to the police chief. That's a level of risk I am not willing to accept.

[Stu2630]

quote:

The test case would be places where, legally, nudity is allowed unless somebody complains. This seems to be the case (legally, even if not "accepted") in Spain and Denmark. I would wonder how many/few people are actually complaining.

I can't speak for Spain, but in Denmark that only applies to beaches - and if somebody does complain, then you could be in trouble. I have a close friend who is a Danish policewoman and she tells me the Danes are nowhere near as relaxed about public nudity as their reputation suggests.

Stu

[EuropeMan]

The Danish beaches are indeed an appropriate place to try to collect data on people's reaction. Not the nudist beaches, of course, nor the two which are designated "clothing mandatory".

Assumes one strips of completely on one of these standard beaches (starting probably with the less crowded areas, but not deserted ones of course). If nobody says anything, it will mean that everybody accepts or at least tolerates others' nudity; if people leave and go settle a bit further, they can be counted as annoyed/offended, though they do not exercise their right to request the nude person to stop the nudity in their area.

If somebody says something, then the "tester" shortly says "sorry" and goes 100 m further, to start again. This way one is completely right vs the applicable laws. One would only be in trouble if somebody complains and the "offender" has just remained.

Perhaps there are too many nudist beaches, and too few people take benefit of the legal opportunity, so that textiles are not getting used to others' nudity. Confining nudity in specific places is still saying that "it's bad, unless"

[Stu2630]

Europeman

Denmark has quite literally dozens of clothing-optional beaches right around their entire coastline. In addition to that, you can go naked on any beach, so long it doesn't offend others - and that means keeping a reasonable distance away (I heard 100 metres mentioned). As that is the case, why should people in such a tolerant and accommodating country risk offending others?

If textiles want to "get used to nudity", they know where to go to see it. But, apart fro gawkers, they don't. They generally keep away. Confining nudity to certain places doesn't mean it's "bad", merely that you are recognising that not everyone is comfortable with it and showing them some consideration.

Stu