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  • risk of discovery

    My wife and I own a house in France. It is an almost completely isolated house (there is only a small cottage near us that is very rarely occupied, and then only by young people who use it, we suspect, only to taake drugs) that can be approached only by a path that is quite rutted or by a gate at the far end end of the field in front. The field is rarely visited by the farmer (two thirds of it is his, the remainder ours). I would love to sunbathe naked regularly, but my wife, quite frankly, finds this disgusting and "you never know if our friends won't visit us unexpectedly". (She has even thrown out all my speedos and insists that I only wear voluminous shorts now because I am a "senior citizen". Am I being unreasonable? I have even walked naked all round our portion of the field withoout even carrying anything to cover me up if anyone should turn up. Am I being an exhibitionist or unreasonable?

  • #2
    My wife and I own a house in France. It is an almost completely isolated house (there is only a small cottage near us that is very rarely occupied, and then only by young people who use it, we suspect, only to taake drugs) that can be approached only by a path that is quite rutted or by a gate at the far end end of the field in front. The field is rarely visited by the farmer (two thirds of it is his, the remainder ours). I would love to sunbathe naked regularly, but my wife, quite frankly, finds this disgusting and "you never know if our friends won't visit us unexpectedly". (She has even thrown out all my speedos and insists that I only wear voluminous shorts now because I am a "senior citizen". Am I being unreasonable? I have even walked naked all round our portion of the field withoout even carrying anything to cover me up if anyone should turn up. Am I being an exhibitionist or unreasonable?

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    • #3
      If your wife has thrown out your speedos without consulting you first, there are some issues with communication, respect and boundaries in your household that need to be resolved before you do anything else.

      Sunbathing is not a privilege for the young and lovely. Senior citizens need the vitamin D and warmth just as much even if their bodies are not as taut and lovely as they were in their youth. I am afraid that your wife has a long way to go before she understands the nudist ethic.

      It would be polite to have a towel or pair of shorts to cover up on the chance that you encounter someone who does not appreciate nudity. We tend to forget that some people are strongly conditioned against nudity and sudden exposure to your nudity is not necessarily going to shock them into an instant understanding of your motives.
      If you have a pair of shorts with you on your nude walks and you encounter someone, you can apologize and put them on since you don't know what their reaction will be. Your wife was presumptuous to throw out your speedos, but you are being just as presumptuous to impose nudity on strangers and having no means of covering yourself. Perhaps it would be simpler just to discuss your nudist ways with your neighbor ahead of time.

      You asked us if we think you are being an exhibitionist. Being nude outdoors is not proof of it, but disregarding the feelings of others you surprise with your nudity may indicate improper motive on your part.

      By the way, I would burn down that crack house near you. Drug addicts are often thieves and robbers and are a great risk to you. If you don't feel comfortable burning it yourself, enlist the help of your neighbor or the police.

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      • #4
        No I don't think you are being unreasonable. I think it is time to have a serious talk with your wife. I think you and her have a few issues to discuss in order to set things right. I would be willing to negociate on a few things but she would have to bend a little as well. For instance the nudity around the house. I wouldn't reccommend going nude around the fields durring the day unless you have talked to your neighbors and the local police. I would reccomend going nude in your yard and in your house. The addition of a privacy fence may help your wife deal with her issue of your being seen unexpectedly by your friends. I would just tell all my friends about my habit of being nude on occaision telling them to call in advance or be prepared to see more of me than they have in the past. Regardless she needs to respect your rights as you should hers.

        P.S. I don't think you should burn the neighbors house down but I would report suspected criminal activity to the authorities.

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        • #5
          I wouldnt worry about your friends seeing you nude, I mean they areint gonna learn to accept your nudity if you constantly run for your shorts every time someone comes walking up. Just stay nude, be polite and explain yourself and dont act like youre nervous or afraid or have anything to hide, because as long as you areint doing anything questionable and act legit then people are less likely to get freaked out and call the cops. I think a big thing that would help you is if you report that crack house to the cops and let em either tear it down or keep a close watch on it and catch any little hoodlums that come around for a quick puff. Also I think about your wife that you n her have some serious issues and really gotta sit down and talk about them, I dont think its right that she got rid of your speedos without your permission and she should have to answer for that. Even if she does not approve of your nudity, destroying ones property without permission is not acceptable and there are other ways to deal with problems that you have. Maybe you could talk with her and meet some sort of compromise, just dont totally cave into her though and if you feel strongly about your beleifs then just stick to them and be proud of them and dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

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          • #6
            No, you're not being unreasonable to want to enjoy being natural. You should carry at least a towel to cover yourself for other people's sake who might not like your nudity. Burning down someone's house could get you arrested for arson.

            It sounds like your relationship with your wife needs help. Throwing away something of yours because she doesn't like it without talking with you first isn't going to help your relationship.

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            • #7
              Seems to me your wife has left you only two alternatives. Wear the bags or go nude! Let's see what kind of man you are in your own house.

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              • #8
                I agree with Trailscout that your wife may have a control issue. You two do need to talk.

                As for your wandering your grounds naked, I would say go for it. If you cannot be seen by anyone of of your property, there is no reason why you shouldn't. That is neither being unreasonable nor an exhibitionist. That is being relaxed and who you are on your own property.

                If someone happens to see you on your trek, so be it. Just tell them that you enjoy the nude walks and that they are very invigorating. No one, especially your friends, should judge you for being naked on your own property. It is your property, and you can do what you want on it.

                As for the druggie neighbors, do not take the law into your own hands, as Trail suggested but do inform the police.

                Good luck.

                Bob S.

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                • #9
                  Bob,
                  The cottage was vacant, but on closer reading, I now think that it sits on someone else's land rather than francophile's, so you are quite right, he should let the police know about it rather than doing anything himself.

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