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  • Am I being unreasonable?

    Throughout my life, as far back as I can remember, I have slept naked. However, my liking for being naked has increased rather than decreased as I have grown older. For example, I think nothing of walking round the hose naked and have met with few problems because we live in the country. I have also sunbathed in the nude in our rear, very secluded, garden. However, from time to time my wife has expressed disapproval,even disgust, at this. When, for example, I get up in the morning and get the breakfast (we have for many years enjoyed breakfast in bed) she makes some comment like: "For goodness' sake, put something on" or "Someone might see you" or "You'll catch cold like that", all of which I believe are coded messages for "I am (i.e. she is) disgusted at you." She has also commented about inevitable stains on the bedclothes and also perspiration stains in the summer. It is all so sad. Am I being unreasonable, or is she?

  • #2
    Throughout my life, as far back as I can remember, I have slept naked. However, my liking for being naked has increased rather than decreased as I have grown older. For example, I think nothing of walking round the hose naked and have met with few problems because we live in the country. I have also sunbathed in the nude in our rear, very secluded, garden. However, from time to time my wife has expressed disapproval,even disgust, at this. When, for example, I get up in the morning and get the breakfast (we have for many years enjoyed breakfast in bed) she makes some comment like: "For goodness' sake, put something on" or "Someone might see you" or "You'll catch cold like that", all of which I believe are coded messages for "I am (i.e. she is) disgusted at you." She has also commented about inevitable stains on the bedclothes and also perspiration stains in the summer. It is all so sad. Am I being unreasonable, or is she?

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    • #3
      No, you are not being unreasonable. My view is that we were all born to live life as we see fit. If you prefer to live it nude then follow your inner voice. I do not know what the wedding vows are in France but most of them in the US contain "for better or worse". If the wife considers this in the worst category she will just have to deal with it. Just my opinion

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      • #4
        Pampelmousse;

        I recommend openly discussing it with your wife. Open communications may help you come up with a way to do what you want without her feeling threatened.

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        • #5
          Pampelmousse -

          I agree with the comments of walter05 about open communication and discussing it with your wife. Your wife has certainly seen you without clothes in other circumstances, so seeing you nude around the house shouldn't offend her. She may just feel confused through lack of understanding of your feelings about nudity.

          Years back, I used to go out to our pool in the evening by myself, take off my swimsuit, and enjoyed swimming naked. One night when I came in, my wife asked me if I had been wearing a swimsuit... she had obviously seen me. I just told her that I enjoyed swimming without a suit and that started us talking a bit about going without clothing, etc. (I had always slept nude, but I suppose that is quite common these days).

          This didn't lead to immediate full-scale nudity at home, but after that I would get out of the pool and sit naked on the patio for a period of time. After doing that for several days, I began coming into the house and staying nude for the rest of the evening. The whole thing seemed to hinge upon opening the lines of communication, letting your partner know about your feelings, and moving gradually. The evenings led to walking around the house naked in the morning after my shower, to sunbathing on our patio during the day etc.

          Now, years later, I'm naked most of the time around the house, and even garden without clothes in the back. My wife doesn't completely share my feelings about nudity for herself, but now often stays nude after her shower, while doing her hair and makeup. And a few times now after dark, she has taken off her clothes, come out onto our deck, and shared a glass of wine with me. She seems to understand that this is a feeling I have enjoyed since childhood, and is at ease with my being nude around the house, etc. Its all a matter of communication, and not shying away from talking about your feelings. I don't mean constantly, constantly harping about nudity with your spouse, but rather not hesitating to talk about your feelings about nudity in a straight-forward manner without embarrassment, when the opportunity presents itself.

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          • #6
            Communications is very important. Things have evolved over the years, but at this point I can be naked any time I want with out a hassle. I also sit on our deck naked (it's semi-secluded)walk to and from the hot tub naked. Although I do sometimes go get the morning paper naked I always go when it is still dark. I do not want to get caught. Several neighbors wouldn't care, but there may be some that would. I have also been naked when we have company a few times. My wife joins me more when it's just the two of us, but still won't be naked around others. I still count myself fortunate and after 25+ years of marriage I still remind my wife I enjoy being naked with her.

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            • #7
              I agree that communication and an understanding wife are very important.

              My wife joins me au naturel whenever we are at a nude beach or resort but usually has clothes on around the house or yard. The only exception to this is before we go away to a nude resort and she wants to try and get rid of tan lines.

              However she is also a very understanding mate and does not object to my almost constant nudity in the summer when in or around house. I have only being doing this for a few years and hopefully as time passes she will also enjoy more nude times around the house and yard.

              I have slept naked long before we were married and the only time she has joined me in doing this was when we were at a place where it was too damn hot to have enything on. But this doesn't bother me as there are many nudists who still prefer to sleep with something on.

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              • #8
                There may be room for compromise. During the summer I usually go nude around home. I do put a tee shirt on to eat though. I would do that even if I had been going around merely shirtless rather than naked, because I can understand not wanting to look at someone's hairy, sweaty chest while eating. Just doesn't seem very appetizing.

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                • #9
                  I agree that open communication is the best approach. However, be aware that it may not help. When a partner displays a level of disapproval seemingly inappropriate to the relationship (as in the case above where a spouse is expressing discomfort with a (presumably) intimate partner’s uncovered body), it could be a sign of some serious emotional baggage from the past. When people are under the influence of such things and, even worse, feel self-righteous about them, simple honest communication may not be enough.

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                  • #10
                    I have to agree with everyone regarding the open communication. I will also state that leading by example can send a very positive message. I believe that most people still relate nudity with sex and it take a long time to get past that mindset. Show your partner it is just part of the way you want to live.

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                    • #11
                      "A man's home is his castle - with his wife's approval."

                      I agree, communication is key. But if your spouse still refuses to 'budge' then the next step is to compromise. Believe me, I would love to be naked 24/7 here at home, but NOW with a house full 'again' I cover to keep peace.

                      During the winter I wear a light robe and slippers. During the summer I wear a very light wrap-around with a split side that snaps at the waist. It is very evident I have nothing on underneath, but the goods are covered as to not to offend anyone.

                      Since the remodel, the bedroom/office in the back is large enough I spend a lot of nude time. There, I can close the door and enjoy 'my' space. I have my TV, computer, Bowflex and of course, easy access to the backyard. Early morning hours, the entire house is MINE, until people start to wake up. And oh yea, I've been caught numerous times.

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                      • #12
                        quote:
                        Originally posted by nudeM:
                        "A man's home is his castle - with his wife's approval."



                        Amen M!!

                        As I always say, "The sooner you learn who's boss around here, the sooner you can give me my orders, dear...".

                        Pampelmousse, everyone has already given you great advice...communication, patience and patience and more patience.

                        I must say that it is refreshing (and somewhat startling) to hear of your European wife behaving much like our American wives...

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                        • #13
                          I have similar problems, but we compromise. I now sleep with a towel underneath my neather regions. She changes the sheets twice/week, because I have a lot of body oil that comes off on them.

                          It still astonishes me sometimes at the things she says. They just slip out from years of anti-body conditioning. She's comfortable with my being naked but so afraid of what others are going to say if they see me.

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                          • #14
                            as usual - a seemingly endless lot of sleeping naked problems. My wife also has complained that my side of the bed sheets are getting coloured from sweat/body oil etc. She would prefer me to wear a nightshirt but I won't so she suggested that I shower before bed each night. I am sure that would help but mostly I don't shower. She accepts that and uses some special washing machine additive to try and reduce the problem.

                            JAMES

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                            • #15
                              My situation is tending to get worse in that my wife seems to be getting even more upset by my sleeping naked and also walking around the house naked before I dress. I am convinced her main objection is simply that she thinks I am disgusting; however, the usual things come out -viz. (a) you must be cold like that; (b) your sleeping like that makes a mess of the sheets; (c) the mattress cover is stained, etc., etc. I sometimes wonder if she just thinks I am absurd sleeping naked at the age of 69. I wish I could convince her that I have an almost pathological hatred of nightclothes. In some ways her criticism of me is more irritating than if she were to really blow her top about it. I love being naked, but she gets terribly jumpy if I walk around outside the house nude,even though our house is isolated and only approached by a lane from which one can see even a vehicle coming along in plenty of time to cover up. I am evidently married to a prude who is becoming ever more prudish. Obviously, this is only a small part of our lives; we have put up with each other otherwise without many "spats" for 43 years, but I am still saddened by her attitude to my love of nudity.

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