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  • Who are we protecting?

    A common theme in naturist discussions is concern that we not make someone else uncomfortable by our preference for letting the clothes go. That concern is understandable, and I think we should always be thoughtful of others.

    Except that I've found that, when I'm hesitating to do anything because I don't want to make someone uncomfortable, it's useful to ask myself, "Who is it that I'm protecting?" Surprisingly often the answer turns out to be that I'm just protecting myself from some imaginary response that may never happen, and if it does it wouldn't be that bad anyway.

    So, for instance, for those who have said in other threads that they wear their clothes to bed in order to avoid making their roommate uncomfortable, try asking yourself, "Who am I really protecting?"

    It used to be that occasionally I would need to share a hotel room with a friend, sometimes for several nights in a row. I always kept my shorts on because "I didn't want to make him uncomfortable." Finally I realized that my real concern was that I not be comfortable myself. So I just got into bed nude. He made a little joke about it, but was clearly not bothered and nothing further was ever said.

    There are lots of other occasions when this is a helpful question. Give it a try.

  • #2
    A common theme in naturist discussions is concern that we not make someone else uncomfortable by our preference for letting the clothes go. That concern is understandable, and I think we should always be thoughtful of others.

    Except that I've found that, when I'm hesitating to do anything because I don't want to make someone uncomfortable, it's useful to ask myself, "Who is it that I'm protecting?" Surprisingly often the answer turns out to be that I'm just protecting myself from some imaginary response that may never happen, and if it does it wouldn't be that bad anyway.

    So, for instance, for those who have said in other threads that they wear their clothes to bed in order to avoid making their roommate uncomfortable, try asking yourself, "Who am I really protecting?"

    It used to be that occasionally I would need to share a hotel room with a friend, sometimes for several nights in a row. I always kept my shorts on because "I didn't want to make him uncomfortable." Finally I realized that my real concern was that I not be comfortable myself. So I just got into bed nude. He made a little joke about it, but was clearly not bothered and nothing further was ever said.

    There are lots of other occasions when this is a helpful question. Give it a try.

    Comment


    • #3
      Interesting point. But oftentimes it's not "who" your are protecting, but rather "what" you are protecting. And what's worth protecting is the relationship/rapport with the other person.

      But yes, if you're in a situation where the relationship and the person are strong enough to deal with nudity, but there is fear of "shock and awe", then it's good to ask oneself where that fear is coming from, and whether it is truly justified. I should know: even though my mother-in-law approved of nudity around her, I never followed through because I didn't want to shock her; of course, I ultimately figured out that the problem was with me, not with her.

      Comment


      • #4
        Basically with me, is that we should protect each other, because yes we all have been through the beach going experience, where the lookie loo's purge in the back of the beach, or high a top the cliffs and gock.... I have learned over the years that if we respect one another, and treat others with respect we get that back in return. But yes what really bugs me as a nudist is when you are at the beach enjoying yourself and hear 20 clicks of a camera as someone is standing 15 feet in front of you with a telephoto lens. And then say's it's for myself and I want these pictures. That's fine and dandy but we all have our reputations to protect, and the first weekend I was at the beach I could not tell you how many camera's where snapping away.

        But as nudony has said yes we have to protect our loved one's and this is very true.



        Kristopher



        quote:
        Originally posted by Nudony:
        Interesting point. But oftentimes it's not "who" your are protecting, but rather "what" you are protecting. And what's worth protecting is the relationship/rapport with the other person.

        But yes, if you're in a situation where the relationship and the person are strong enough to deal with nudity, but there is fear of "shock and awe", then it's good to ask oneself where that fear is coming from, and whether it is truly justified. I should know: even though my mother-in-law approved of nudity around her, I never followed through because I didn't want to shock her; of course, I ultimately figured out that the problem was with me, not with her.

        Comment


        • #5
          If your relationship with your friend or your roomate is really going to be destroyed simply because they see you naked then it really has to make you wonder weither it was really a good relationship to begin with. If someone cares about you enough and is close enough to you theyre not gonna let something simple like nudity destroy that so easily. So just go nude and if they get easily miffed about it and dont wanna be your friend anymore then so be it, you can always find someone else who is more understanding. Nobody wants to know someone who is gonna abandon them over something silly like nudity anyways.

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          • #6
            I agree it's just I was young at the time so I did not know what to expect.... but thanks



            Kristopher

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            • #7
              My thoughts are (1) that I am protecting myself from possible arrest if someone complains to the police which they more than likely will do, although it depends on the situation and where you are. (2) that I don't want to offend and anger others. (3) that I don't care to make a spectacle of myself before non-nudists who (unlike nudists) will tell me what they think of every aspect of my body , and I really don't want to know .

              Not being an exibitionist (despite some people thinking we are) I have no desire to be nude before people who don't want to see my nude body. I haven't had any problem finding a resort where I can be nude with people who don't care. I can understand people who have no nude venue close by taking any opportunity they can get to be nude. I did that as a child and a teen, but I did my best to be discreet about it.

              Comment


              • #8
                Well in regards to the looks, mine are alright. But yes the post you said is true, I guess I might be one of the few that just has so much respect for a person.


                But thanks


                Kristopher



                quote:
                Originally posted by Jon-Marc:
                My thoughts are (1) that I am protecting myself from possible arrest if someone complains to the police which they more than likely will do, although it depends on the situation and where you are. (2) that I don't want to offend and anger others. (3) that I don't care to make a spectacle of myself before non-nudists who (unlike nudists) will tell me what they think of every aspect of my body , and I really don't want to know .

                Not being an exibitionist (despite some people thinking we are) I have no desire to be nude before people who don't want to see my nude body. I haven't had any problem finding a resort where I can be nude with people who don't care. I can understand people who have no nude venue close by taking any opportunity they can get to be nude. I did that as a child and a teen, but I did my best to be discreet about it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  quote:
                  by Jon-Marc: My thoughts are (1) that I am protecting myself from possible arrest
                  That was my first thought exactly, followed by an extension of the same idea that I am protecting myself from harm. Far from altruistic, I realize, but I think it's the reality of it.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    quote:

                    My thoughts are (1) that I am protecting myself from possible arrest if someone complains to the police which they more than likely will do, although it depends on the situation and where you are.


                    But you dont know youll get arrested until you do it and even if you do get arrested you might still allow people to see that society is treating nudists unfairly by arresting them for things which obviously do not warrant such action being taken. Some of the people who have brought freedoms to this country have done much jail time and yet the long term effects of going through that have been worth it. Sometimes it takes someone being arrested to show people how truly corrupted the world can be sometimes.

                    quote:

                    (2) that I don't want to offend and anger others.


                    Is being nude in front of them something which should offend and anger them? Are they justified being offended and angered by such things? If not then why do you care if they get offended and angered? Its not your fault theyre immature and dont know how to deal with the sight of the human body. Its their own fault they shelter themselves from such things so much.

                    quote:

                    (3) that I don't care to make a spectacle of myself before non-nudists who (unlike nudists) will tell me what they think of every aspect of my body , and I really don't want to know.


                    Why should you care what they think of your body or how you look? If they dont like you for what you are then you should just consider the source and tell them to get lost and find something more productive to do. I wouldnt care if I made a spectacle of myself, I like the attention.

                    quote:

                    Not being an exibitionist (despite some people thinking we are) I have no desire to be nude before people who don't want to see my nude body.


                    Its your body, it should be what you want and if you feel comfortable being nude then you should be able to go for it, its your right. It shouldnt matter what anyone else thinks. They wear god knows what kind of awful clothing out in front of you everyday that you might not like but yet you dont expect them to change so i mean you should be able to go nude and not care what they think and they shouldnt expect you to change either.

                    quote:

                    I haven't had any problem finding a resort where I can be nude with people who don't care.


                    I think its crazy that you should have to go to some great effort to just shelter yourself from the world just because they cant suck it in and learn to accept you for who and what you are. You should be able to go out in public and be nude and be yourself and people should just learn how to accept you and treat you as a fellow human being without shoving all their personal issues with you or your body down your throat. Its none of their damn business what your body looks like or why it is the way it is. Everybody is different and youre not always gonna be whatever they expect you to be and they need to learn to accept that. They need to keep their damn opinions and negative thoughts about you to themselves.

                    quote:

                    I can understand people who have no nude venue close by taking any opportunity they can get to be nude. I did that as a child and a teen, but I did my best to be discreet about it.


                    Well I think that people are only discreet with things they do when they know what their doing is wrong and theres nothing wrong with nudity dispite what our screwed up society says so I mean there shouldnt be any need to be discreet about it. That just gives people the wrong idea and makes them think that what youre doing is wrong because theyd think why else are you being so discreet about something harmless unless it was wrong.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      luvnaturism said:
                      ... I've found that, when I'm hesitating to do anything because I don't want to make someone uncomfortable, it's useful to ask myself, "Who is it that I'm protecting?" Surprisingly often the answer turns out to be that I'm just protecting myself from some imaginary response that may never happen, and if it does it wouldn't be that bad anyway.

                      This is a very good point. We imagine that most others are going to be upset or offended upon seeing us nude when, in my experience, most are not.

                      If you ask someone in advance whether they mind if you go nude, they may react negatively. If you just appeared nude, they might be surprised, but likely wouldn't feel as negative as they would have when being asked.

                      There are things that we might do in public thaat may offend or upset someone. If we feel personally that it should be our right to do it, we have to weigh this against the other person's reaction. If we think that this reaction is unreasonable, we should go ahead and do it.

                      Gary

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                      • #12
                        I agree. Some of us tend to over compensate and give into the fears that are mostly non-existant. If we truly believe in the nudist lifestyle, then why do we not try to educate others?

                        I have a saying that goes like this: We are not who we think we are, we are not who others think we are, we are who we think others think we are.

                        Let's not fool ourselves, be who you are and not worry about what others think. Most of the time, they don't.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Too often we're concerned about what others think of us when in reality they more than like DON'T think about us.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            quote:
                            Originally posted by Jon-Marc:
                            Too often we're concerned about what others think of us when in reality they more than like DON'T think about us.


                            I was just about to post something similair to this.
                            Cool

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              quote:
                              Originally posted by Jon-Marc:
                              Too often we're concerned about what others think of us when in reality they more than like DON'T think about us.




                              Someone recently asked me how big an ego did it take to assume that everyone else had nothing better to talk about than me? There's a good lesson in that.

                              Vin

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