Frustrated

[Von]

My girlfriend visited a nudist club here in MI that is open year round and I have to say we were disappointed.

First of all there were 3x more men than women, and only a handful of couples. These single men would NOT STOP STARING AT MY GIRLFRIEND! I even reported one in particular to management and they said he isn't "all there" mentally and that they've had to talk to him before. But later she told me about another one that I hadn't noticed. Before long any time she wasn't in the pool or hot tub she was covered with a towel.

They were supposed to be a "Family-friendly" place but there were only a handful of families!

Is there no place for a young couple to go to enjoy being nude without getting gawked at? Without having strange middle-age men be overly-friendly and not be able to take the hint to get lost? C'mon...

We're just a little frustrated and disillusioned with the whole thing right now. It's not worth it.

[Von]

My girlfriend visited a nudist club here in MI that is open year round and I have to say we were disappointed.

First of all there were 3x more men than women, and only a handful of couples. These single men would NOT STOP STARING AT MY GIRLFRIEND! I even reported one in particular to management and they said he isn't "all there" mentally and that they've had to talk to him before. But later she told me about another one that I hadn't noticed. Before long any time she wasn't in the pool or hot tub she was covered with a towel.

They were supposed to be a "Family-friendly" place but there were only a handful of families!

Is there no place for a young couple to go to enjoy being nude without getting gawked at? Without having strange middle-age men be overly-friendly and not be able to take the hint to get lost? C'mon...

We're just a little frustrated and disillusioned with the whole thing right now. It's not worth it.

[Fuzzy Nuts]

You might have to try a couples-only resort like Terra Cotta Inn in Palm Springs. Its a long way away but possible there are similar clubs or resorts in your area.

[FireProf]

We don't want yet another thread taking a detour and become a..."single guys at resorts/club" bashing issue but...maybe for you and your girlfriend a couples only place like Terra Cotta is the place to visit for a while until she's able to be comfortable in a nudist setting with more men than women.

Let me explain; Our first social/public nude experience was at our local nude beach. My wife was not that comfortable with the beach we visited at first because of the multitude of men and only a few women. We met another couple there that introduced us to the nude resort/Inn concept and my wife slowly but quite surely adapted and became very comfortable in that setting.

Since then she's much more comfortable at the nude beach even if there are more men then women because she's learned to ignore their stares, their gawking and she's never been approached when I've been near, nor has she commented on this when I went into the canyon or for a walk.

Of course, there's is always the direct approached with those that can't seem to stop staring at you or your girlfriend. Just go up to them and ask them to please stop, or to say something out loud for others to hear, like..."will you please stop bothering us!"

[Von]

We're 20 years old and in college. We can't afford to travel out of state.

She was perfectly comfortable at the other place we've been to which was 90% couples. She's fine with being nude around others but only if she doesn't feel gawked at. She knows people are going to look but there is a difference between noticing/appreciating beauty and gawking and lusting. For example (since her name is Sarah) when we were introduced to someone he said "Ah, Sarah tall but not plain!" (as opposed to the old saying/?movie? "Sarah plain and tall"). I thought that was dumb.

I never thought of the direct approach of just telling them to stop. I'll definately do that next time, especially so others could hear.

[missouriboy]

quote:

She was perfectly comfortable at the other place we've been to which was 90% couples.

You've written your own solution to the problem. Just go where you're comfortable.

The other approach of verbally demanding your privacy is also fine. Both are methods with which to cope with any negatives that almost inevitably accompany the positives in life. Don't let your disappointment with the negatives deny your enjoyment of the positives. Keep trying; you'll both learn to deal with them, you'll get over them, and you'll then enjoy a great mode of recreation for a long time!

P.S. The guy who made the remark with her name was trying to be complimentary. But he was probably just as nervous as you two, and it just didn't come across as intended. Happens all the time, whether in a nude venue or anywhere else.

[NudeTopher]

quote:

Originally posted by Von:
My girlfriend visited a nudist club here in MI that is open year round and I have to say we were disappointed...

I have only been to two nudist resorts but I have been to nude swims and nude beaches. In the first place, I wonder if part of the problem is when you went.

Your post is dated November and let's face it - fam's with kids might be less apt to go in the colder weather. Besides many fams are busy on weekends with sports practices and games. I think the crowd might be different in summer.

I haven't seen that many young and fit nudists at the clubs. I've seen more at the beach. At the clubs being obese and being of advanced age go hand-in-hand with nudity. Therefore, yes, you will stick out of the crowd. Is it because you have noticeable bodies or is it because you have encountered nasty people? Hmm.. I really don't know. My guess is that you two might have been a bit self-conscious being at a new venue. But, I can't understand that why you didn't find your voice when you thought that you were being stared at. I guess that perhaps you didn't want to offend those being offensive.

In the end, I'd suggest that you give the place another try. But, I'd do it next summer on a warm weekend. Check it out when there is a crowd.

[Matt King]

I had the opposite problem with this old woman staring at my body at a club. I told her to bug off and she asked me to spread my legs for a better view? There are freaks everywhere. Turned out she was one of the owners. We never went back there.

[NudeTopher]

quote:

Originally posted by Matt King:
I had the opposite problem with this old woman staring at my body at a club. I told her to bug off and she asked me to spread my legs for a better view? There are freaks everywhere. Turned out she was one of the owners. We never went back there.

I suppose that's equality when females like perv'n too.

[nudenwv]

i can understand your frustration! places like this take out all the enjoyment of meeting nice friendly people. sounds like these people were a little too friendly! management shoud have gotten more involved. if they are aanr affilated complain to them! the first one we visited (clothing optional) was such a nice experience we went back a few months later! i'm sure you'll find a decent place to visit. contact aanr's web site. http://www.aanr.com

[Von]

quote:

I have only been to two nudist resorts but I have been to nude swims and nude beaches. In the first place, I wonder if part of the problem is when you went.

Your post is dated November and let's face it - fam's with kids might be less apt to go in the colder weather. Besides many fams are busy on weekends with sports practices and games. I think the crowd might be different in summer.

We've talked about it and we think this is a major factor. Autumn weekends are not the most family-friendly times for nude recreation, especially in Michigan where all activity is restricted to indoors.

quote:

I haven't seen that many young and fit nudists at the clubs. I've seen more at the beach. At the clubs being obese and being of advanced age go hand-in-hand with nudity. Therefore, yes, you will stick out of the crowd. Is it because you have noticeable bodies or is it because you have encountered nasty people? Hmm.. I really don't know. My guess is that you two might have been a bit self-conscious being at a new venue. But, I can't understand that why you didn't find your voice when you thought that you were being stared at. I guess that perhaps you didn't want to offend those being offensive.

At the other club we've been to a few times we were also the only young (and I guess inherently attractive) couple there although the difference between the two clubs is that the other had more couples while this one had mostly single men.

quote:

In the end, I'd suggest that you give the place another try. But, I'd do it next summer on a warm weekend. Check it out when there is a crowd.

I think for now that is the plan, although it will be 6 months until weather allows us to be nude outdoors. A lot can change in that time. We're already getting annoyed with a lot of things about naturism, especially the online scene.

[nakedjohn]

It is the same like with anything else.
You go to the restaurants you like,
you go to the grocery stores you like,
you go to the church you like,
you go to the department stores you like, so....go to the resorts you like the most.

But I am sorry about your unpleasant situation, would not like it myself.

[missouriboy]

quote:

We're already getting annoyed with a lot of things about naturism, especially the online scene.

Please don't blame naturism for the inherent differences one always finds in "the online scene." People behave vastly differently online than they do in person, whether the underlying theme is naturism, hunting, politics, or anything else you could name. There once was a long thread on this forum about that very same subject, and I think lots of people gained lots of insight about it from participating in that thread -- I know I did!

[NudeTopher]

quote:

Originally posted by Von:

quote:

I have only been to two nudist resorts but I have been to nude swims and nude beaches. In the first place, I wonder if part of the problem is when you went.

Your post is dated November and let's face it - fam's with kids might be less apt to go in the colder weather. Besides many fams are busy on weekends with sports practices and games. I think the crowd might be different in summer.

We've talked about it and we think this is a major factor. Autumn weekends are not the most family-friendly times for nude recreation, especially in Michigan where all activity is restricted to indoors.

quote:

I haven't seen that many young and fit nudists at the clubs. I've seen more at the beach. At the clubs being obese and being of advanced age go hand-in-hand with nudity. Therefore, yes, you will stick out of the crowd. Is it because you have noticeable bodies or is it because you have encountered nasty people? Hmm.. I really don't know. My guess is that you two might have been a bit self-conscious being at a new venue. But, I can't understand that why you didn't find your voice when you thought that you were being stared at. I guess that perhaps you didn't want to offend those being offensive.

At the other club we've been to a few times we were also the only young (and I guess inherently attractive) couple there although the diffeprrence between the two clubs is that the other had more couples while this one had mostly single men.

quote:

In the end, I'd suggest that you give the place another try. But, I'd do it next summer on a warm weekend. Check it out when there is a crowd.

I think for now that is the plan, although it will be 6 months until weather allows us to be nude outdoors. A lot can change in that time. We're already getting annoyed with a lot of things about naturism, especially the online scene.

Some additional thoughts:

1. Asking for a couples only resort might give you more then you are asking for. Being a single male I have not been bothered by "swingers". But that might be the flip side of the no single male coin. Perhaps you found a rude single male or two. But, overall I firmly question the concept of couples only. The only time couples are required involves breeding!

2. Since it's a long time to Spring, you might check to find out of any of these resorts have winter family swims at their indoor pools or if there are any non-landed clubs that have winter swims near you. What can be nicer then nuding at a warm indoor pool on a gray winter day?

3. I really wonder what your issues are with "online nude scene". My largest complaint is that I can't get a tan. Seriously, I'm not sure what you are talking about here. If it's something nefarious PM me instead of posting a reply.