Common problem for others?

[blackrebel]

On line when people find out that I am a nudist, I have found that some folks will send me porn BS. I had to really go up a woman's b... about sending me sexually oriented pics, thinking it was funny.

"Well, since you are naked I figured you'd like these" was her comment, even tho I gave her my 'This is what a nudist is' talk. I laid it out to her that there is a difference between being unclothed and being uncouth.

Post Edited by Moderator "NG"

[blackrebel]

On line when people find out that I am a nudist, I have found that some folks will send me porn BS. I had to really go up a woman's b... about sending me sexually oriented pics, thinking it was funny.

"Well, since you are naked I figured you'd like these" was her comment, even tho I gave her my 'This is what a nudist is' talk. I laid it out to her that there is a difference between being unclothed and being uncouth.

Post Edited by Moderator "NG"

[BlobbyBob]

There will always be some people who are into something for different reasons.

Though I do think that perhaps you could have worded your message a little better - "I had to really go up a woman's b..." I just thought that was funny, along with the situation you were describing

Edited by Moderator "NG"

[Frodo]

Many people associate nudism with sex and can't imagine why you would be nude unless you were some sort of perv. The same people also don't understand the diffence between tasteless sex pictures and tasteful nude photography. Keep educating the unenlightened.

[Heather F.]

Well I haven't exactly had the picture problem per se... but I have had the problem of guys thinking it is funny to show (more like focus in on) how immature they are sporting an erection and dare i say stroking themselves on webcam. And then they don't understand why I shut off their webcam on my end of things and tell them to grow up. (And usually never talk to them again.) We don't mind talking to you, we just don't want to talk to or view your penis. That and having guys that get upset that I am not looking for a sexual playmate. Guess when they look at my profile they fail to see the happily married part of the profile.
Frodo you said it well when you said some people don't understand the difference...

Heather

[Sauna]

It is very bad but it is true in many cases. I'm worried about the naked demonstrations like PETA and others who try to frighten people with nakedness. It is very harmful for us with it's influence to people's attitudes to naked. People get more idea from them that nakedness is weird.

[KetchumMaine]

quote:

Originally posted by blackrebel:
On line when people find out that I am a nudist, I have found that some folks will send me porn BS. I had to really go up a woman's b... about sending me sexually oriented pics, thinking it was funny.

"Well, since you are naked I figured you'd like these" was her comment, even tho I gave her my 'This is what a nudist is' talk. I laid it out to her that there is a difference between being unclothed and being uncouth.

Post Edited by Moderator "NG"

When I had a job where I could talk about nudism, many people had misconceptions about what I was all about. However, now I work in a program for sexually abused/reactive teens, and can't even elude to nudity with my co-workers (not that I would).

[shãybare]

quote:

Originally posted by Heather F.:
Well I haven't exactly had the picture problem per se... but I have had the problem of guys thinking it is funny to show (more like focus in on) how immature they are sporting an erection and dare i say stroking themselves on webcam. And then they don't understand why I shut off their webcam on my end of things and tell them to grow up. (And usually never talk to them again.) We don't mind talking to you, we just don't want to talk to or view your penis. That and having guys that get upset that I am not looking for a sexual playmate. Guess when they look at my profile they fail to see the happily married part of the profile.
Frodo you said it well when you said some people don't understand the difference...

Heather

There are a lot of pervs out there. I have had the same problem as you about the webcam. I got one last year and found out pretty fast how there are so many pervs on the cams. I, too, had guys masturbating all over the place. It was a real annoyance. I quit using the webcam at all. It just wasn't worth it to me.

[Sauna]

quote:

Originally posted by shaybare:

quote:

Originally posted by Heather F.:
Well I haven't exactly had the picture problem per se... but I have had the problem of guys thinking it is funny to show (more like focus in on) how immature they are sporting an erection and dare i say stroking themselves on webcam. And then they don't understand why I shut off their webcam on my end of things and tell them to grow up. (And usually never talk to them again.) We don't mind talking to you, we just don't want to talk to or view your penis. That and having guys that get upset that I am not looking for a sexual playmate. Guess when they look at my profile they fail to see the happily married part of the profile.
Frodo you said it well when you said some people don't understand the difference...

Heather

There are a lot of pervs out there. I have had the same problem as you about the webcam. I got one last year and found out pretty fast how there are so many pervs on the cams. I, too, had guys masturbating all over the place. It was a real annoyance. I quit using the webcam at all. It just wasn't worth it to me.

I know from the time of videoconference that showing the picture adds so little value to the conversation that I do not have webcam yet.

[shomymojo]

Most non-nudists...just do not get it...they equate all nudists...with swingers...as if...since you are all naked together..you must be having sex...its really quite sad they are so unenlightened...LOL

[hm0504]

quote:

Originally posted by Sauna:
It is very bad but it is true in many cases. I'm worried about the naked demonstrations like PETA and others who try to frighten people with nakedness. It is very harmful for us with it's influence to people's attitudes to naked. People get more idea from them that nakedness is weird.

I wouldn't say PETA (and WNBR) try to frighten people with nakedness, rather they use it to garner attention and make a political statement.

[Centauri4]

Do we distinguish between people who ARE masturbating on webcam without carrying on an online conversation at the same time versus those who can?

The most important part about camming is that some services use a "reflector" and you never know who is watching. In that environment I would say it is DEFINITELY bad etiquette to masturbate because it is IMPOSSIBLE to tell who is watching. And even if the cam session is private, two-way between two nudists, the preferred behavior might be to ask, "Do you mind if I masturbate while we speak?" (slightly crazy question I know, but hang on...)

Having been to nudist resorts with two seat community outhouses, if two [civilized] people can sit side by side and defecate, aren't ALL behaviors on the table?

Non-nudists would NOT be familiar with the "no overt sexual activity in public" etiquette, so it really is no surprise many cammers are unfamiliar with our boundaries.

Sending someone sexually explicit material without first asking their permission is just plain rude. I think both nudists and most non-nudists would agree on this, but has there ever been a etiquette, "code of conduct" or "community standard" published on this? Or do we simply think of it as being "just one of those things" every adult should know?

I thought I knew alot about the world until getting online and learning what some people are into!! Wholly cow! (no offense to Hindus intended) I suspect for every "normal" behavior there are at least three abnormal ones, or non-mainstream ones! The behaviors taught in most public school social studies classes are for basic comparative purposes. Unless a student continues their education with college, they are unlikely to learn about fetishes and wider forms of human sexuality WITHOUT the Internet.

Just my two cents.

[ScubaRay]

I too can agree with most of what has been said here. I've had to block a few people from my IM because of what thier intention were. With all that is out there on the net many people still will think nude and sex is to be use in the same sentence or the same room. Being more active in my nude life I'm starting to keep a good eye open to weed out those who have other intention.
Ray

[Heather F.]

I guess reading some of the responses to what I have experienced I guess I didn't make as much sense to others as it did to myself.

So let's try again:

I get IMs from guys who claim to be nudists (and some of them I am sure honestly are nudists but they are still immature about how they conduct themselves). Usually they will carry on a conversation for a while with me usually them asking me about my family, my husband, (they ask about him b/c they want to know who the guy is in my profile picture) how long I have been a nudist, how did I get started, how do I like being a naturist, etc. and me asking them the same types of questions. Then they usually ask me if I have a webcam and if I would mind being on cam with them. (I don't mind and our camera is not a very good camera but you can at least see us on it, I generally only have my face and shoulders that a person can see when I am on the webcam.) Well no sooner does their webcam come on before you notice that it is focused in on their crotch area and not their face or entire body, most of the time the guy will be jerking himself off when this is the case. I turn my cam off immediately if this occurs and the second mine is off so is theirs. I then generally will inform them that is real childish and not something I care to see them doing. I guess you could say I am nice since I will still talk to them if they don't get too ticked off at my response. (Which is rare that they don't, most don't say anything back and it is the last I hear of them ever again.) If they do hang around and still talk to me I usually get the comment (along the same one as Blackrebel gets) "well I just thought since you were a nudist and stuff you wouldn't care, i thought nudists don't have all the hangups over sexuality that the rest of the world has." I will usually at this point repeat the fact that I am happily married to a wonderful man, have two wonderful children, and just because I am a nudist it doesn't mean I am a slut or interested in seeing them sexually perform. I remind them that nudism isn't about sex. (Before the sexuality crowd jumps my butt see the next sentence.) I agree that being a nudist doesn't mean that you deny your sexuality or pretend like we don't have sexual urges. But there is a time and place for everything including sex and sexuality. (That time and place being between two [or more if that is your thing] consenting people.) Amazingly I have actually had a few guys that will then apoligize and state that they didn't realize that it might bother someone that much.

Centauri4, I would have to disagree with you on your following statement:

quote:

Having been to nudist resorts with two seat community outhouses, if two [civilized] people can sit side by side and defecate, aren't ALL behaviors on the table?

Defecation and elimination of liquid wastes is something that a person has to address, while a guys jacking off is just trying to get his jollies by showing himself off. Last time I check when I was going to the bathroom I wasn't trying to show off my sexual prowess.

Jacking off or acting in a sexual manner (whether on webcam or not) to me is the same as sending me sexually explicit materials. If I am not consenting to it, I don't want to see it. And no just because I agree to view your webcam doesn't mean I am giving my consent.

Now I am sure that someone is eventually going say this so I am going to nip the response before it can ever be made.

Why don't you quit webcamming then?? (the eventual expected response)

My answer:
I do enjoy being able to associate a face with the conversation I am carrying on and seeing that the person is really the gender they claim to be. My husband has busted a few guys masquerading (sp?) as girls and weirdly enough one girl who tried to pulling off making my husband believe she was a guy but had the small problem of forgetting what she was pretending to be when talking to him late one evening. (She was talking late in the night (2am) with my husband who is a night owl, and mentioned having bought a dress. My husband jokingly asked So you are into cross dressing then huh?? And got back the response "Hello I am a female I wear dresses!!" and no sooner had that popped up on the screen then she (he) realzed she (he) had just blown herself (himself) out of the pretending waters.

Hopefully this clears up what I meant in my orignal post. If not then I guess we can always try again (or I can have my husband who is a little better at wording things clearly help me when he gets back in town tommorrow evening).

Heather

[Centauri4]

Heather, great reply!

Just so nobody gets the wrong idea on my post, I also DO agree that being a nudist doesn't automatically mean I am interested in EVERYTHING or EVERY FORM of behavior someone has the imagination to dream up. Acting up on webcam is certainly something the other party is doing because THEY find it exciting, and I suspect they are hoping for that 1 in 10,000 person who will INSTANTLY message them back to 'keep going'. A rarity I'm sure.

Same regarding blackrebel's original post:
We simply have to put up with this behavior and keep educating the world as to real nudist values one person at a time. The perceptions people have of a person or group are often called "stereotypes", "bias" or in some cases "racism", and I would suggest that nudists CAN and occasionally ARE regarded in that manner. Especially when the uninformed don't take time to ask, aren't given a chance to ask, or are so narrow-minded that they "don't want to know" (about such things).

It is more than "nudity = sex", it is "nudity = perversion", and the mass media LOVES it when a school teacher is found to have viewed naked students, a priest/minister organizes skinny-dipping at a summer retreat, or a NATIONAL organization with a long history promotes Summer Youth Camps. Like sharks circling when blood hits the water, nudists are often misperceived as perverts.

Just as some members of religions are terrorists.

Just as some politicians are automatically labeled as "corrupt" at the slightest hint of misconduct.

WE have a long way to go.