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Annie's Mailbox - positive naturist position

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  • Annie's Mailbox - positive naturist position

    Today Annie's mailbox tackles reluctant spouse going to a nude resort. Positive suggestion was attend local nude lake resort before an extended vacation at a nude resort.

    Let me suggest that a number of us do write [email protected] complementing the positive approach and lack of negatives. Let's use the opportunity for a positive educational response. Some might say something like "naturists are not just people enjoying a clothes-free life experience but see naturism as a cross-cultural, cross-economic, anti-Barbie-n-Ken perfect physique social statement" Put forth your personal advocation for being clothes-free.

    And while it's not a question, if enough people wrote, the column night make mention of getting positive inputs for the naturist life style.

  • #2
    Good Suggestion

    While I'm not one for being the best to put into words what I mean to say, I am planning on dropping a line to Annies mailbox, because we guys with reluctant others can use all the help we can get to have the spouses see that nudism is good for the positive self image and helping the gals to realize that not all or most of the women attending nudist resorts are not supermodels or built like them.We don't expect them to be or want them to be.


    • #3
      For quick reference, I think the article being discussed is here and it seems that comments can be posted online here.


      • #4
        The woman in Austin sounds like she will enjoy social nudism, based upon her comments about skinny-dipping and sleeping in the nude. A controlled environment is generally always going to be best for a first-timer.
        Diary of a Nudist

        Not necessarily so. There is a HUGE difference between a person comfortable being nude alone or in front of their spouse at home.. and socially in public. I think the fears this woman is feeling are completely normal. Based on the rules of our society there aren't many women who will just rip off their clothes and spend the day socializing nude with complete strangers as if they have been doing it all their life. Our only hope is that they will give it a try and hope that the objections are minimal or they find they really like it!

        I think the idea of visiting a resort with the husband alone at first is a good idea, if she is up to it. Starting out visiting with friends may be too much for the first time. If the first time alone with her husband goes well, perhaps she will go the next level.

        The subject of the reluctant partner is one that has been discussed on this and other forums for as long as I can remember. It is sometimes a difficult subject to understand and, of course, it is very personal. I have known several friends over the years that seem to be able to jump into it easily but the majority can not.. for their own personal reasons. We all know this is a topic that you can't force on a person. Patience is a virtue. My experience shows that if the objections are deep-seeded there is little that can be done. Finding a reasonable compromise is usually the answer. Nudeinalabama, you have been on the forums long enough to know that we have all the answers. We know all the objections and know in advance what the reluctant spouse is going to do.. or not do. It is frustrating for the nudist to place expectations on the reluctant that they can not or will not do. As much as I would like to see nudism as a grey area, for many reluctants it is very much black and white! Being honest with each other and finding common ground is the only way.


        • #5
          Has to be her choice

          You all make good points and are absolutely right in that it has to ultimately be her choice and desire to go that will ever allow her to go and enjoy herself, or even to give it a try. I've been there and done this. She did go....several times,enough to decide that social nudity wasn't for her and that she wouldn't likely ever change those feelings. I persist in my home nudity and let her know it is what I enjoy, but don't push to go to the resorts or even for us to go somewhere nude alone anymore. She knows, I know, that I'd love to have her do so and in time she may just suprise me,but if not I don't let that rule my life either, or ruin it. Patients and no pressure to get naked helps her to occassionally join me nude around the house, and lately a little more often, so who knows?


          • #6
            Hey, Nudiarst - I know just what you mean and I understand where you are coming from. I can see that a first timer might very well find it a less intimidating going with a friend. No different than a person going anywhere business or social related, we all would prefer to go with someone we know. You were extremely lucky that you had a friend to do that with, but I would think that is the exception, not the rule. If more first timers went with a buddy - male or female - it certainly would soften the shock. The fact that your wife is now bugging you to return is nothing short of a miracle.. you lucky guy!

            Nudeinalabama - I know what you are talking about as well. Nudism clearly is not for everyone although those who embrace it sure seem to be having a great time! I had a female friend lately that almost gagged when I told her that I enjoy frequenting the local resort. I took it in stride. Calmly, I assured her that my telling her was informational only and not an invitation. Secretly inside I thought to myself, this relationship is going to be short lived! You are right, you never know what is going to happen. One day your wife may surprise you and ask YOU to take her to the resort! Keep the faith, brother.


            • #7
              I told my wife I was a lifelong nudist BEFORE we got married. I let he know that I do not wear clothing at home (or anywhere it is legal to do so!) when it is hot, or I just feel like it. I also informed her that if we did get serious as a couple, I was going to wait until after marriage for you-know-what, as I was saving myself. She though each one was a big plus! So, be honest as soon as possible for smooth sailing.

              Garbo- I'm real sorry your friend had that gag response. That is disturbing! If that grossed her out, how would she handle things much later in years when she may have to care for you in ways like changign adult diapers? Better pass on that one and find one a little less hoity-toity and more down to Earth.


              • #8
                Agreed, Jeep. Obviously nudism was so distasteful to this person that she could not even conceive of being apart of it! Each to his (or her) own. I don't think anything less of her but clearly nudism is one priority close to my heart. I don't think couples need to share each and every one of their interests together, but this is a big one for me and it would be difficult to not partner with someone who isn't on the same page as me.


                • #9
                  Agreed, Garbo.

                  One small point- You said "I don't think couples need to share each and every one of their interests together". You really hit the mark on this one. Couples are made up of two different people that come together for reasons of mutual attraction and love. No matter how close these two people become, they are still two people, not one. It is perfectly OK for them to enjoy activities apart as well as together.

                  It is a misconception that once married, they need to do everything together! That is an attitude usually adpoted by couples who eventually end up in counceling or divorce. Although I have known my wife since we were 12 years old, and been married 20 years now, we still do many things apart. No matter what happens during the day or days, we still end up in the same bed wrapped in each others' arms, so who cares? I told her how I am (nude) and said if she has a problem with it, speak up now. It has never been an issue since. I am glad I got it out of the way in the very beginning! It led to some incredible nights in front of a sunset wrapped in nothing but blankets. I never had to explain my lack of clothing, she never thought I was trying anything with her. It just made for super relaxing times together with no pressure!

                  My earlier suggestion may have sounded smug, and I am sorry for the tone of it. However, it is so true, if that lady gagged at the thought of seeing you nude, she probably would not be very caring in the long run. SOunds like someone who is very superficial. Even if she does not want to participate in nudist activities or living, a simple "that's cute, honey" would have been a much better response than a gag.

                  I wish you all the best and hope that soon you meet a nice companion that shares your interest!