HELP

[raven]

I don't know if this belongs here but I really need some advice. I have an 18 year old nephew. We're close in age, so close that his older brother is only four months younger than I am, so we consider ourselves to be cousins. We have spent most of our life growing up together so I know him pretty well. For the last year or so his behavior has been concerning me. He has been showing way too much attention to the younger girls of our family. Ever since he was little he has played with girls more than boys so when this kept going on as he got older I just assumed he was gay. Alot of times he does act like it. But for the last year or so he is always around the younger girls aged 8 to 13. We have three girls in our family that age. As for the younger boys he pays no attention to them. Last weekend we took all the kids to the zoo. He kept holding the younger girls or having them sit on his lap or next to him. And as for the boys he didn't even pay attention to what they were doing. He, his older brother, younger sister, and I were little we were sexually abused by a day care provider. I know the feeling and conflicts this causes to a child. I was wondering is he doing this because he was abused. Or am I being to protective of the children and reflecting my fears on them. Our family is a close knit group and to have this happen by one of our own would cause damage untold. But my main concern is that the children are safe. Can anyone help me on this issue? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img]

[raven]

I don't know if this belongs here but I really need some advice. I have an 18 year old nephew. We're close in age, so close that his older brother is only four months younger than I am, so we consider ourselves to be cousins. We have spent most of our life growing up together so I know him pretty well. For the last year or so his behavior has been concerning me. He has been showing way too much attention to the younger girls of our family. Ever since he was little he has played with girls more than boys so when this kept going on as he got older I just assumed he was gay. Alot of times he does act like it. But for the last year or so he is always around the younger girls aged 8 to 13. We have three girls in our family that age. As for the younger boys he pays no attention to them. Last weekend we took all the kids to the zoo. He kept holding the younger girls or having them sit on his lap or next to him. And as for the boys he didn't even pay attention to what they were doing. He, his older brother, younger sister, and I were little we were sexually abused by a day care provider. I know the feeling and conflicts this causes to a child. I was wondering is he doing this because he was abused. Or am I being to protective of the children and reflecting my fears on them. Our family is a close knit group and to have this happen by one of our own would cause damage untold. But my main concern is that the children are safe. Can anyone help me on this issue? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img]

[hw]

My advice would be to have a long talk with the kids. If you even suspect anything is wrong do something before another child is hurt! Do it now! Don't wait! This nephew may need some serious intervention!
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If you know anyone who has been abused get them the help they need NOW!!!!!!!!!!

[stevenf64]

heaven forbid you are right do not try to talk the kids out of what they tell you and dont confront your nephew. get the facts but dont pressure the kids to tell you they will if you go around about but if you make it seem like you are interigating them they may feel they did something wrong and not say anything you do have to act because kids safety is more important than anything. but please tread carefully good luck and thank you for being concern about others

[hw]

Raven

On the Off Topic Fun Stuff.....page 2 of Name that member......TXK NUDE posted something that may be of help.....I suggest you send him a private message....Hope this helps.

[TXK NUDE]

Raven, I will help if I can. I'm afraid I may not have all the answers, but I can tell you what I know. Your nephews behavior does sound like sexual predator behavior...but it may not be. One of the things that attracted me to the nudist lifestyle was the openess and honesty nudists have about their bodies, and a child who is familiar with his/her body is less likely to be abused, as they know proper names for parts, and don't hesitate to talk about their bodies. Encourage this kind of openess with the younger kids.

Also, if you are close to your nephew, you might encourage him to talk to someone about the abuse that happened. Since you were abused too, you might get into this conversation more easily than someone else. Naturally, do not accuse or condemn, but get him to express his feelings and channel the frustration into a positive outlet.

Also, NEVER leave him alone with the younger children until you are sure that he means them no harm. Don't make it obvious, but make sure that someone is always with them. If he confides in you that he has, or sometimes desires to molest the girls, let him know in no uncertain terms that such behavior is NOT allowed, but he can learn appropriate displays of affection. This may help. I certainly hope it does.

[hw]

EXACTLY.....TXK NUDE.....Very Good advice...I hope this helps everyone here as well as you. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

[gamblefish]

Yeah, Raven, what TXK said sounds like great advice. At any rate, do not look the other way. Do something about this before your nephew goes down a road that will lead him and others into a lifetime of problems.