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  • Pleasing their man?

    general question - what percentage of wives new to nudism are just doing it to please their husbands without really wanting to? How many wives come up with the idea to try nudism before the husband does? Does this show that men are more into hoping they see other ladies nude and not respecting their relationship with their wives anymore? Does this break the "foresaking all others" vow by the desire to see other women? I know some are genuine nudist from family training, but I sometimes question newcomers as I do my own thoughts in this direction. Real honest answers would be appreciated!

  • #2
    general question - what percentage of wives new to nudism are just doing it to please their husbands without really wanting to? How many wives come up with the idea to try nudism before the husband does? Does this show that men are more into hoping they see other ladies nude and not respecting their relationship with their wives anymore? Does this break the "foresaking all others" vow by the desire to see other women? I know some are genuine nudist from family training, but I sometimes question newcomers as I do my own thoughts in this direction. Real honest answers would be appreciated!

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    • #3
      Let me clarify something .... you want to be nude by a desire to see other women nude?

      Allie

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      • #4
        Hi dpdogwood,

        While its hard to come up with percentages, I believe, in the majority of cases, men come up with the idea of trying nudism before their partners.

        I'm sure most men enjoy seeing ladies nude, but if this were the driving force in trying nudism, wouldn't most males trying it.

        Perhaps men just have an easier time of it going naked in front of others for the first time. Going without clothing does not show a lack of respect for your spouse, but instead shows a degree of comfort, confidence and trust in that relationship.

        This can be a real big step, suggesting breaching one of society's main "rules" to your mate. And to read the forum entries here, it seems there are many men who, despite attempts to interest their partner, wind up going naked around the house and home without their wives joining in, either in full or in part. Call it non-participating acceptance if you will.

        And in that case, it seems to me its more a case of mutual understanding and respect for each other, than a case of forsaking the relationship.

        Anyway, my two cents worth...

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        • #5
          quote:
          Real honest answers would be appreciated!

          I'm not asking to disect myself, I'm already doing that in all honesty. I was a member of a local club four years ago,for a full year, and enjoyed it. I feel that I was not at all horny, just wanting to just see women. Even then I realized that most of the women were not their for my visual enjoyment, and I looked forward to seeing a pretty lady. What man wouldn't? This is a question on the motifs of the women newcomers.

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          • #6
            um, personally i don't think they should be doing it to just please the man in there life, who wants to go to a nudist place to enjoy themselfs and see a bunch of sourfaced women who aint enjoying themselfs. I would probobly take a disliking to there male parteners for draging someone along to somewhere they aint happy.

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            • #7
              Well, it would seem that a man could prove he was innocent of this by making sure to suggest skinny-dippin' with his lady in remote spots where they're the only ones in sight. Then when they do go to a place with other people he can say, "Whether we're alone or not, I always like being naked with you!"

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              • #8
                quote:
                Originally posted by dpdogwood:
                general question - what percentage of wives new to nudism are just doing it to please their husbands without really wanting to? How many wives come up with the idea to try nudism before the husband does? Does this show that men are more into hoping they see other ladies nude and not respecting their relationship with their wives anymore? Does this break the "foresaking all others" vow by the desire to see other women? I know some are genuine nudist from family training, but I sometimes question newcomers as I do my own thoughts in this direction. Real honest answers would be appreciated!


                I was the one that advocated nudism in our relationship....hubby was slower to follow. Men are more visual than women and IMO, get more enjoyment out of seeing nude women than I believe women get out of seeing nude men. (That is subjective of course, but my thought.)

                No, just seeing others nude (once again, IMO) does not violate any vows a couple takes. If a person goes as far as fantasizing and mentally cheating with those views...than that is another issue. You could also state that viewing another while clothes is cheating "if" the attached thoughts are impure.

                I'm sure there are women out there that just "go along for the ride" at the nude beach/resort. That's a shame. Best outcome is that they find they really do enjoy it, or just say, "no thanks" and don't attend.


                Dee

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                • #9
                  I am sure there are women who participate in nudism to please their other half but the majorit do so to also pleas themselves where to do otherwise for a large percent of women nudists is unreal.

                  There has to be some reward other than just pleasing one other person to participate in any activity and I beleive that reward is bona fide enjoyment of the activity.

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                  • #10
                    Years ago I took the lead in getting my wife and me started into naturism. It was a natural outgrowth of the way I was raised, but not at all natural in relation to the way she was raised. Yes, initially she went to please me.

                    But I resent the idea that the point of naturism for men is to look at naked women. I'm not at all blind to beauty, some of which I see in just about every person. However the draw for me is the freedom, the relaxation, the openness that happens when I take my clothes and socialize with others who have done the same.

                    I made a decision early on that it would be dangerous to my marriage if I were to go to a nude venue without my wife while she was still uncomfortable with the idea. We talked many times, and my position always was that I'd like to try this, but only with her and never without her. When she was willing to give it a try, I made sure that we went only to places where she would feel safe and comfortable.

                    It took me about 10 minutes to feel fully comfortable nude in mixed company. It took her several tries over several years, but now we enjoy it together two or three times a year for a weekend or a week at a time. In the meantime we pretty much live nude at home when the weather permits--which is about half the year.

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                    • #11
                      quote:
                      Originally posted by DenitaLC:
                      quote:
                      Originally posted by dpdogwood:
                      general question - what percentage of wives new to nudism are just doing it to please their husbands without really wanting to? How many wives come up with the idea to try nudism before the husband does? Does this show that men are more into hoping they see other ladies nude and not respecting their relationship with their wives anymore? Does this break the "foresaking all others" vow by the desire to see other women? I know some are genuine nudist from family training, but I sometimes question newcomers as I do my own thoughts in this direction. Real honest answers would be appreciated!


                      I was the one that advocated nudism in our relationship....hubby was slower to follow. Men are more visual than women and IMO, get more enjoyment out of seeing nude women than I believe women get out of seeing nude men. (That is subjective of course, but my thought.)

                      No, just seeing others nude (once again, IMO) does not violate any vows a couple takes. If a person goes as far as fantasizing and mentally cheating with those views...than that is another issue. You could also state that viewing another while clothes is cheating "if" the attached thoughts are impure.

                      I'm sure there are women out there that just "go along for the ride" at the nude beach/resort. That's a shame. Best outcome is that they find they really do enjoy it, or just say, "no thanks" and don't attend.


                      Dee



                      Dear DenitaLC,
                      Your husband is a lucky guy!
                      Some of us guys can't get our wives to even try nudism. Not only do I wish that my wife was the one to intiate the idea of getting away and going to a nude resort, but I'd be thrilled if she would agree "to go along for the ride," and try it just one time!
                      As for your views on fantasizing, I agree. One doesn't have to indulge in sexual activities with another (outside of marriage) to be guilty of adultery.
                      Looking with lust at another is also adultery, regardless of whether a court of law would agree. It doesn't matter if subject of desire is unclothed or modeling a suit of armor.

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                      • #12
                        It would be interesting to have a poll quantifying how many women:

                        - Accompany their husband to please them, but still find it rewarding for themselves.
                        - Accompany their husband to please them, and would unhesitantly drop it if their husband lost interest.
                        - Accompany their husband for themselves, and get as much out of it as their husband.
                        - Are the main "driver", and are going to remain nudist with or without their husband (Denita?).

                        In my case, my wife accompanied me to social functions, in most circumstances, to please me. She will go nude at home, however, on her own accord and without any input from me. So the social nudism was mostly to please me, but the home-nudism is entirely her.

                        Does this show that men are more into hoping they see other ladies nude and not respecting their relationship with their wives anymore?
                        I'm sure that is sometimes the case, but I doubt that is the majority. Men who are only into seeing other women nude will usually, after a short while, get bored with it and move on. Men are often the main "drivers" because we are more external, more visual, and prefer the complete sensory experience of social nudism. For me, the visual component is important, but it is not specific to nude ladies; it is all-inclusive: all the people, the natural surroundings, the way the sun reflects on the pool water or ocean, etc...

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                        • #13
                          Many good thoughts posted here , I like "luvnaturisms post and agree. I too love being naked and itis my main objective to be free of clothes with others that sharethe same beliefs .However I do admire beauty, as well . My wife , will not at this point join me at a park but am working on the around the house thing . If thats all I ever attain than O.K.

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                          • #14
                            I too took the lead with nudism. In the very beginning, from our wedding night, we slept nude. I exposed the Prof to everyday nudity when I was home for the weekends while I was in the service.

                            She became quite used to it and began doing the same but not as often or as quickly as I would. As time passed, nudity around the house became more and more natural but progressing into the social aspect was a much more difficult on her and our relationship.

                            A decision had to be made by both of us. She understood my love for this lifestyle and the need to socialize with others that felt the same way but...I desperately wanted her to join me and love it as much. She had problems with body image, the inherent sexual misconceptions and her strict upbringing that taught her that being naked was bad.

                            Just like other men here, we talked, we discussed sometimes heated and we fought. In the end, we wanted it all to work, so we compromised. She was allowed to progress at her own speed (no more "pushing" from me) and she agreed to "try" social/public (beaches) nudity.

                            Today, she's much more involved in suggesting and planning nude outtings. She sometimes beats me to taking our clothes off at home and she's grateful for me "pushing" her at times. It can be said that those first few times at the beach or at Terra Cotta Inn were done to please me, in regards to social nudism, but very soon after those initial visits, she was realizing how great this was and how it opened another chapter of our lives together.

                            BTW.........I'm not all that innocent to this day..............I still "push" once in a while!

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