Nudists in a textile world

[garbo]

How do we, as nudists, explain or share our interest (or passion) in nudism without fear of repercussion or negativity in a textile world?

[nudeM]

I'm in that boat too Rockdad. Working for a local government, it would be extremely difficult to "spread the word" about my lifestyle. One day, once I retire, all bets are off. lol

[Guest]

While I can't speak for everybody, I will throw a cent or two into this ring. Keep in mind, that while I have not openly "come out" to everyone I meet about my personal passion for nude recreation, I have let a few friends know about it. And have to say that for those that I have told, I have never had a negative response. Some were very welcoming where the party has agreed to give it a try, others not so much. To me, they fall into distinct categories:

- Family - my brother and mother are aware of my comfort in a nude setting and my sister would like not have any objections either. They all live in/near Pasco County FL and while they do not go to any of the many nude venues there, they have read/heard about them since the 70s. My sister has a pool with a private backyard and has made comments about my yard and ability to go skinny dipping. So maybe I am lucky, but there would be no problem here.

- Prospective Mates - I was very open about my passion with nude recreation when I was dating several years back. Once I reached the point that I wanted to know them on a deeper and potential lasting way, I just up and told them about my passion. Call me lucky but not one turned down my offer to participate. And with each one came new nude adventures. One accompanied me on a week long visit to a place in the caribbean and also went with me to other local venues on a shorter term. So in this situation, I suggest that if you want to get someone you are interested in as a potential partner into nude recreation, you need to come out and tell them up front. If they are not interested, it is better to know early rather than waiting until it becomes a longer-term problem that damages a relationship.

- Friends:

I have mixed experiences with friends but none of it was negative. The first person I told was rather easy because I had seen them at a nude venue before I told him. We were both on active military duty at the time and he was new to the staff. We were peers, he was a geographical bachelor and I was in the midst of a nasty divorce so we both had time on our hands and one day I was leaving the park when he was coming in. I did't say anything at the time but a few months later after we were on more friendly terms, I let him know about the time I saw him. He was rather upset I did not let him know earlier. We made several visits to the same park after we redeployed and he came over to my home on several ocasions and had a great time just hanging out.

I have let other friends know about how relaxed I get in my home when the kids are out and no one has ever said anything negative. While no one has jumped at the chance to come spend nude time with us, they have all respected the openness. In these cases, I was selective about who I told so I was confident they would respond positively. and these were people I had known for many years who knew how I operate. One friend however has stated with absolute certainty he would never give it a try so I dropped it at that.

Quite frankly, the only ones who know we spend time nude at the house who think it's "gross" are the kids, namely the teenage girls (15, 16). All the kids know to call before they come home to ensure they will not be surprised when they enter the door.

So after all of this, I suppose my only comment to anybody thinking about telling someone else about their passion for nude recreation is to be selective. I see no reason to tell everyone you meet outside of a nude venue about your preferences. Some things as personal as this should be experienced with those you confide in and every coworker, neighbor, etc is not in that category for me.

When you do decide to tell someone, do it slowly and try to bring something up that would start a normal conversation. Say you stumbled on this website and read an article about the ultimate swimsuit that was free and were halfway through it before you realized what it was about - is that story still on here by the way as it's what brought me to this sight about 10-years ago! Bottom line, start with an ice-breaker that gets a conversation rolling and ask if they think they could do that. Use that as a guide on how far you are willing to take it.

On a final note, I hear a lot about people being reluctant to tell folks about their nude time for fear of professional repercussions. I look at it this way - I maintain a high level security clearance which is essential for my employment and have never felt at risk of losing it just because I visit legal nude venues. My wife is a public school teacher and she is also not at risk from operating IAW local laws and visiting legal venues. The main thing to worry about is publishing photos of your hobbies on the mighty WWW. I put some out there early in my quest for personal freedom and it did come back to haunt me because I use poor judgement on how I did it. So unless you are a public official or in some other way dependent on public opinion for your livelihood (celebrity, etc) there should be no actual risk of professional repercussion due to legal participation in nude events.

[FireProf]

My situation was different, even from my wife's. In my career, I worked 24 hr shifts. In most cases, until I was a Captain, we shared the same dormitory, but we all shared the same locker room, restroom and shower facilities. For most of my career, we didn't have female firefighters. It was a man's club and my way of life, my lifestyle at home, was common knowledge with all of those I worked with or worked around. From the beginning, I never felt I was doing anything wrong and I didn't see how the fire department had any grounds to terminate me just because I was a nudist. As it turned out ... more people knew, including the females that came on later, and no one really paid it much attention.

The Fire Dept was much like the military. In fact, like the police department, the fire department is a para-military organization. Over 90% of the guys on the job were ex military and were quite used to being naked around each other and seeing nudity was not an issue.

At work ...explaining and sharing our interest in nudism wasn't difficult, it was difficult to get some of the guys to take it seriously. Those that felt they had to make jokes, usually came around after a while and understood. I explained and shared what we did, who we did it with and where we did these things, including home. There was genuine interest and curiosity and some negativity but not as much as you'd think.

With family ... we had to know our audience. You can broach the subject or let the conversation come to the door of simple nudity but you have to then wait to see if those talking about it or broaching the subject, seem willing to discuss it without getting embarrassed, weirded out or begin making jokes ... then ... all bets are off. If they seem open to discussing it, we will say ... "we know a bit about that if you care to listen, but we will stop if you begin to make jokes about what we do." Some, mostly our age, will usually jump back and use the term ... "TMI." I hate that phrase ... it's so adolescent. Those our daughter's ages 35-40 ... much more willing to talk about it, ask questions and even try it. Our youngest daughter's best friend went with us to the nude beach. Loved it so much, she went with us again and took her husband.

Telling people, "I've visited one of those clubs ... or I've gone to one of those beaches ... and they are NOT what you think," usually gets most of them to take a step back and now become seriously curious to know ... "what goes on in there, then?" They now have someone with inside information and they are curious, but we have stopped conversations with some because they began to act stupid or make jokes and my answer to them is ALWAYS ... "when you can be mature enough to listen and understand, I'll talk to you about it." That usually shuts them up and gets them thinking about how they handled that situation.

Spreading the word isn't difficult but your spouse/participating partner, needs to be onboard with it as well. Our AANR Bulletin and TNS "N" magazines are not hidden anymore and are in places where visitors may see them, in magazine baskets in restrooms and in the family room. They haven't made it to the coffee table because we are not going to shove it in their faces. Some friends have come out of the restroom with that look on their faces as they look at us. We've said ... "want to ask us anything?" They usually say something like ... "no, it's cool." Our daughter's friends will usually say ... "yeah, I got some questions."

I've posted before about wearing t shirts with club logos and nude sayings. I wear my Glen Eden Nude Attitude Car Show t shirts quite a bit and get questions and we explain about the club. I think some people think ... "wow, they are such nice people, I'd never thought they would do that." They are also amazed when we tell them how long we've been nudists and how long we've been social nudists. I'll say ... "have you seen a change in us in the last 40 years? That's how long we've been nudists. Have you seen a change in us in the last 20 years? That's how long we've been visiting nude clubs and resorts."

In the end ... you've got to know your audience and know who you're speaking to. You have to know if they are going to be mature and receptive or immature and reactionary. Explaining and sharing our interest, our passion and our preference for nude living and recreation isn't really for everyone to know and only you know who you can share it with.

[Kouak]

I too have not had any negative experiences. But then again, I choose whom I tell. The most recent person is a gal I meet from a hiking meetup. We hit it off well at the hike. I was walking one of her dogs while she walked the other. During the hike she mentioned that she swam while we passed a former quarry filled with water. We noticed that swimming was legal but discouraged. She hinted that she would like to swim there when it got warmer. Half joking (and a way to test the waters (pun intended)) I mentioned that when it is warm enough that you would not even need to bring a swimsuit. She said something like that would be OK with her.

A couple of weeks later when we met for coffee, I had decided to tell her if it came up in conversation. Turns out that she mentioned it first! She had joined the local non-landed club about 2 years ago. The point is, divulging was not very risky nor brave on my part. It was a pretty safe bet. You can get a feel for a person to see if they are open-minded enough to hear it. Just don't come out of the blue and talk about nudism. Mention that you saw an article on the web or found a meetup group or a dating site which had nudism associated with it. Follow up with your thoughts and ask for theirs. You would be surprised at the number of people who are OK with it.

[usuallylurk]

On a final note, I hear a lot about people being reluctant to tell folks about their nude time for fear of professional repercussions. I look at it this way - I maintain a high level security clearance which is essential for my employment and have never felt at risk of losing it just because I visit legal nude venues. My wife is a public school teacher and she is also not at risk from operating IAW local laws and visiting legal venues. The main thing to worry about is publishing photos of your hobbies on the mighty WWW. I put some out there early in my quest for personal freedom and it did come back to haunt me because I use poor judgement on how I did it. So unless you are a public official or in some other way dependent on public opinion for your livelihood (celebrity, etc) there should be no actual risk of professional repercussion due to legal participation in nude events.

I have to take exception to this. If you work in the private sector - in an at-will, no-union-protection situation - where you can be dismissed for any reason (except discrimination as part of a legally protected group which nudists are NOT) - or NO REASON AT ALL .... it might not be a good idea to discuss nudism in the workplace. It makes people feel uneasy. It shows bad judgement just as if you went to Colorado to get buzzed for a two-week vacation, you might not want to come back and tell your boss and everyone in the office that you went on a two-week stoner jag.

Furthermore - there is a red herring in the American workplace. It's called "sexual harrassment". If you love nudism so much that you want to do this, and take the risks, then go ahead, boast about it.

Moi, I'd rather keep my nudist life and my work life separate. That way, I have a good paycheck to pay for my nudist activities. This was something one leader in the nudist movement didn't understand - if I did what he suggested - bang the nudist tambourine, throw rose petals, etc., I could lose my job. That way I would have no money to spend on nude recreation. Nor any dough to contribute to the Naturist Action Committee.

If my boss found out what I do in my own time he probably wouldn't care. But if I started rambling in the workplace that I went to the camp for the weekend, or was going to Cypress Cove for a week, or had a nude party at the house - he might.

My advice is - unless you have a strong union with job protection, don't bring it up in the workplace. Consider your management to be like your Mom and Dad when you were a late teen / young adult - there are some things you don't tell them because it would upset them. And there are some things they don't wanna know .

[garbo]

I volunteer from time to time at a nearby state park. I have gotten to know many of the volunteers over the years, but one seems different from the group. She is a young woman, a fellow artist, perhaps in her 50s who seems to see life through a different set of glasses. She is truly a wonderful person to work with. I thought... of all people... she might not react negatively if I told her of my interest in nudism. One day I decided to share and she came up with an interesting response. She said that she had never even thought of such a thing, but smiled and said... "wow, so counter-culture. I love it". Surprised the heck out of me!

This could be part of the problem with sharing nudism interest within the textile world. Its perception might be that we are part of a sub culture, which does not fit the societal norm, and that is a bad thing! Other misconceptions are common as well, such as that nudist gatherings are all about sex. The sub culture concept seemed interesting and intriguing to my volunteer friend but not necessarily to others.

I have to wonder if the nudist community, including associations like AARN and the resorts themselves need to do a better job marketing the concept in its true light. Maybe, with a better understanding, it would not seem so counter culture. Perhaps then the fear of negativity and repercussion might not be so severe.

[jasenj]

I have to wonder if the nudist community, including associations like AARN and the resorts themselves need to do a better job marketing the concept in its true light. Maybe, with a better understanding, it would not seem so counter culture. Perhaps then the fear of negativity and repercussion might not be so severe.

The issue of marketing has been discussed here and elsewhere frequently. It seems the current nudist leadership couldn't sell food to a starving man.

[Naturist Zoar]

I believe positive talk and positive action are the way to go.
It's not just the conversation but also the role modeling that needs to take place.

[garbo]

When a golfer shares a love of golf to a non-golfer, the response is usually (something like) "that's nice". Same response when an artist shows a beautiful sunset to a non-art lover, When a nudist shares their love of nudism in a textile world, the reaction is often shock and disbelief, even if done so in a positive way.

One fellow artist actually had the nerve to suggest that nudism is "just sick" and even worse if children are around. The misnomer and stigma of all nudists are swingers, sexual exhibitionists and even child pornographers seem to be very much in the public mind, even though it is not true. What surprises me is that this attitude prevails even here in Central Florida, with MANY nudist venues and a beautiful and legal nude beach just south in Miami. The nudist resort that I go to even advertises to the general public on radio and local newspapers, promoting clean, family virtues. Social nudism (as they say) at CC is for the young or young at heart. Pretty cool i would say

The recent national news coverage of topless women with body paint posing in Times Square in NYC received horrible press and additional reporting regarding toplessness (legal or illegal) found its way into the public consciousness. Negative, negative, negative. It seems the general public may not be able to differentiate between social nudism and public exhibitionism.

The so-called nude shows on television, Naked Dating, Naked and Afraid and the naked real estate show (if that is even still on) are reviewed as a joke and poke fun at those are portrayed in the shows and even those who watch them. The local press has openly indicated that these kinds of shows cater to the lowest moral standards of our society. I have to agree, at least, that they do not seem entertaining. They seem to be about just being naked, not nudism.

Until the consciousness of our society changes with reference to nudism, it is unlikely that public awareness will ever change. It is unlikely that those fighting for more clothing-optional beaches will actually win their fight. It is unlikely that any public displays of performance nudism will be tolerated or legalized. It is unlikely that nudism will ever be accepted for anything more than a sub culture.

...and, I am actually ok with that. I don't mind the label of sub-culturist. I feel perfectly comfortable nude in my home and back yard or at the legal nude beach or at my local resort. I don't need societies approval. As long as I have my piece of the world to be as nude as I wish, I am happy. I am nude in a textile world on my terms.

[usuallylurk]

The recent national news coverage of topless women with body paint posing in Times Square in NYC received horrible press and additional reporting regarding toplessness (legal or illegal) found its way into the public consciousness. Negative, negative, negative. It seems the general public may not be able to differentiate between social nudism and public exhibitionism.

If I understand the news reports correctly - many women are going there, offering to pose topless in a photo with tourists for money. Yeah, that's negative.

The so-called nude shows on television, Naked Dating, Naked and Afraid and the naked real estate show (if that is even still on) are reviewed as a joke and poke fun at those are portrayed in the shows and even those who watch them. The local press has openly indicated that these kinds of shows cater to the lowest moral standards of our society. I have to agree, at least, that they do not seem entertaining. They seem to be about just being naked, not nudism.

Naked and Afraid has nothing to do with nudism but it does address the challenges of surviving in the wild.

Dating Naked is just boring. Staged scenarios , and it's playing to young adult male fantasies.

Buying Naked was somewhat interesting - to a nudist who may be buying property in Florida in the not-too-distant future <g>. But it only dealt with - unfortunately - upscale properties. There are an awfully wonderful number of properties in the Lutz/L'o'L area that are below $200,000 - maybe I missed it, but I'd like to see what condos go for at PL these days. But there now is "staging" in that, too -- taking the interesting edge off the show for me.

[natureboy1776]

And then on the other hand The World Naked Bike Ride happens all over the world and is growing rapidly each year. "Free the Nipple" and "Go Topless Day" have women removing their shirts all over the the place and is getting legal acceptance in almost every state now. The Time Square story is a diversion at best there is no story there, Read Young Naturists America's take. The thing about nudism is the more acceptance it gets it also disappears into normal.