Happy to have CFF as a nudist forum

[garbo]

I don't know about anyone else, but I do not have many people to share ideas regarding nudism. My wife cringed when I brought it up a time or two to friends that I assumed would not be judgmental. Wont do that again. I felt comfortable bringing it up to my more liberal artist friends. Honestly, it did not go over very well. Had a neighbor who would sunbathe nude at her pool. We chatted once about nudism. She insisted that merely sunbathing alone nude in her backyard does not make her a nudist. She moved away some time ago. My wife hated her??

At the very least, this forum gives like minded nudists a place to share ideas and exchange information. Would be nice to have a way to reach out to fellow nudists in the area.

[Guest]

I agree with the basic sentiment Garbo. It is good to have a place to discuss things where there really is no hidden agenda behind the commentary...at least as far as I can tell. Especially one where folks with differing political views can come together in some common ground. As for dealing with an unwilling spouse, I fully understand as Mrs Ex was so adamantly opposed to the notion of social nudism that she used it as her excuse to leave. Fortunately for me, Mrs Now was much more sensible in her approach to the idea...we enjoy many quality nude times together.

[garbo]

As I said in my prior post above, having an interesting and informative forum is great to share ideas, particularly with the understanding that this subject can be contriversial. In most cases the dialogue reflects the true meaning of nudism, not the fringe elements such as swinging etc.

Unfortunately, there are some who will post adversarial comments without consideration which makes one want to keep our comments to ourselves or share on other forums. This has happened to me and I am hesitant to continue posting, despite the fact that it seems the number of nudists posting is declining. No way to know if nudism itself is declining but certainly those posting has declined. There has to be a reason for that. In a protected environment like this forum there should be no hesitation if the nudist wants to keep this interest private.

It is good that your spouse is "more sensible" in her approach to the idea. Bridging the spousal gap can be a tricky thing and I can only imagine something not always successful. As for me, for the year before and two years after our marriage, my wife and I were fancy free living a semi-hippie lifestyle in South Florida in the late 70s. We would venture to a nude beach periodically without a care in the world. I remember almost sensing, my wife actually enjoyed being there. No body acceptance issues and clarity of mind. After our first child was born, her attitude took a full 180 turn and the mere thought of being nude outside our home became distasteful. After our kids left the house (one married and the other in graduate school), this attitude still prevailed but she became more tolerant to me going to the local resort alone. I visit at least a dozen times per year this way. Last year she decided to come with me for one visit, probably out of curiosity, and to convince herself that the resort was not a singles pick up place or swingers paradise. She witnessed first hand friendly people, the greater majority coupled off, just going about their business in a resort setting without the pre-assumed issues she envisioned. Although nude, unfortunately she did not socialize or participate in any activities during her visit.. rather to sit pretty much by herself with a large hat on and large sunglasses. She covered herself in a full body sorrong when she was in sight of other people. I thanked her for her courage to visit with me, gently encouraged her to participate to no avail. Secretly I was very disappointed in her but i did not let my feelings show. After a few hours, she was ready to go home.

It has been helpful to know that others have experienced similar experiences and that I was not the only one with a reluctant spouse. This makes the forum particularly worthwhile to me. The forum has also confirmed that it is really ok to follow my passion without her is OK too. Although singes (or solos) are admitted to our resort, it seems obvious that the predominately coupled off guests are not quite as friendly to the solo. I understand and accept this. Fortunately, my solo resort experiences have been mostly positive, particularly if I have an all over tan, which must give off the message that I am REALLY a nudist and not a guy who is there merely to see naked women!

Not sure how much more posting I will be doing due to some unfriendly comments, but it is good to know I can.

[dakref]

I too have not just a reluctant spouse, but one who is adamantly opposed. I've written our story here years ago. She is a sexual abuse survivor who unfortunately got a very bad taste in her mouth about nudity. She used to be OK with just the two of us using the pool and hot tub nude, but now as she's gotten older she's got more body acceptance issues than she ever had. This summer she complained about my being naked too much, so curtailed that. So, i get my nude time when she's gone and if she's out of town, I can sneak off to the nearest club or nude beach. It's just not a divorceable issue for me. The relationship has a lot of other redeeming qualities.

[usuallylurk]

I too have not just a reluctant spouse, but one who is adamantly opposed. I've written our story here years ago. She is a sexual abuse survivor who unfortunately got a very bad taste in her mouth about nudity. She used to be OK with just the two of us using the pool and hot tub nude, but now as she's gotten older she's got more body acceptance issues than she ever had. This summer she complained about my being naked too much, so curtailed that. So, i get my nude time when she's gone and if she's out of town, I can sneak off to the nearest club or nude beach. It's just not a divorceable issue for me. The relationship has a lot of other redeeming qualities.

It's rather unfortunate, but also rather real.

I was on a "reluctant partner forum" for a couple years on Yahoo. When the original moderator left the group - I did as well. After two or more years of giving my personal side of nudism and nudist events and nudist club/group policies -- there was nothing more I could advise.

AANR does not have the answers for getting through the "reluctance barrier" -- after 80-odd years of existence. Neither does TNS. There are some women I have seen who have "converted", yet some find themselves unable to.

I learned - as I said - I have no answers, other than patience, and advise that it doesn't always work. I also respect - as you do, dakref, the institution of marriage and place it above nudism.

There is no "magic wand", no "textbook approach". And frankly - a husband knows his wife best. More than I would. More than AANR would. More than TNS would, or anyone in here.

If she's "on the fence", then there MIGHT be some things that might win her over, but if she's adamantly opposed -- let it go. Find some other area of common ground.

[Naturist Zoar]

This forum is an excellent vehicle to share and learn.