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Becoming a nudist: "Acclimatization" or "Band-Aid" approach?

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  • garbo
    replied
    I agree with usuallylurk.. nudism is not for everyone. Nudist resorts in Central Florida still cater to only a very small percentage of the local populous and in large part, the large numbers of Europeans who visit yearly. The word nudist itself seems to evoke a sense of recklessness and thinking "way" out of the box. A concept which does not even merit the time of day.

    In our hippie days in the 70s, my wife and I enjoyed skinny dipping at a small nude beach near Palm Beach florida. We lived a semi-bohemian lifestyle where experimentation was the rule, not the exception. Later on, during and after having two boys, those carefree feelings were gone. Although the kids have families of their own, my wife is still unable to rekindle the joyful and carefree feelings we enjoyed so much back then. In recent months she has has chosen twice to join me during the day at the local nudist resort of her own choosing, but clearly has no interest in any of the activities or being seen nude by others. I have tried to convince her otherwise, using logic and gentle persuasion... but it just does not work.

    For me, nudism is a state of mind. For her, nudism is losing her mind. At the resort or at home, I don't even think about being nude. For her, being nude is ALL she thinks about! Its really a shame but it is.. what it is.

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  • usuallylurk
    replied
    Originally posted by jasenj View Post
    I think there are way too many variables involved to make any sort of general statement on what works best. <sexist_mode=on>Women being the fickle creatures that they are.</sexist_mode=off>

    ... and every person -- including every woman -- is different.

    Some years ago, I was invited to participate in a "reluctant partner" forum in another platform. I did so for two years, because I felt I might be able to offer an "insider view". I could certainly relate things from *inside* the world of social nudism - as to why clubs have admission policies, some "success" stories, some failures, and so forth. But I could not deliver a "magic wand" approach, and there is no specific "cookbook" that can be applied to every situation. I finally dropped off that group, as some resented my realist approach. I was also concerned with the obsession of some of the guys on there toward the subject.

    Others would not accept my view of #2 below - and also the belief that your marriage is far more important than your desire for nudism.

    Too many variables.

    1) Each and every woman is different. So might each man's approach toward his wife/partner. So might every man's interest(s) in wanting to get into nudism.

    2) I also learned one thing = nudism is NOT for everyone. If someone doesn't want to do it, for whatever reason --fear, perceived body awkwardness even "I just don't like it - can't do that", that should be respected.

    3) If you are husband and wife - YOU know your wife better than I do, obviously, as I'm just an "electronic source" at the other end of an Internet BBS. You know best whether a) you can convince your wife to try it and b) how to communicate your wishes to her. I can't advise on that. I'm not an expert.

    There are good suggestions that Nudony and other had here - but there's no textbook. Your wife's going to try it or not try it.

    After that, if she's in the "no" camp, she's either going to tolerate your nudist activities or she isn't. ONLY YOU CAN JUDGE WHETHER SHE CONDONES YOUR ACTIVITY OR NOT. When I see "my wife has no interest" -- ok, she's not along for the nudist ride - but the nudist husband has to figure out - honestly - if his activity or desire for it is interfering with the state of the marriage. Can you and her and your nudist friends co-exist? Can she tolerate being around nudists and nude people while not participating herself? Can she tolerate your solo participation and stay behind, at home? Or, does she not know where you go on a Saturday night or Sunday afternoon?

    Good luck to all, who have reluctant spouses and partners.

    Leave a comment:


  • jasenj
    replied
    I think there are way too many variables involved to make any sort of general statement on what works best. <sexist_mode=on>Women being the fickle creatures that they are.</sexist_mode=off>

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    So, if I got this right...she was ok being nude with just the two of you, it took a bit of an "event" for her to accept it in a public forum? My experience is about the same. First, get comfortable in your own skin and with yourself. Then, if you are up for it, around others. I have found it almost a seamless event once you are ok with just being nude on your own. So, I would suggest a basic two stage approach...get comfy on your own, then just accept it and be nude among others.

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  • Becoming a nudist: "Acclimatization" or "Band-Aid" approach?

    It seems like it's been ages since I posted a new thread here!!

    Anyway, an event that happened at Club O. with my girlfriend got me thinking.
    She is often nude at home with me; but she is not a nudist by any stretch. So when she agree with me to go to Club O., it was really a stretch for her. Although she did decide she'd try going topfree. So we went, I got naked, and she went topfree after some hesitation. Anyway she did end up having fun, enjoying being topfree and socializing. The interaction with nudists helped her a lot relax; although she still would cross her arms over her chest if she felt she was being "looked at.".
    A while later into the day, I challenged her to skinny-dip; at least for a few moments. She agreed to the challenge, we went in the water, and she swam around a bit before going for it and removing the second half of her bikini. And it turned out she really enjoyed skinny-dipping, feeling "free" as customarily reported. After a while she "called it" and we proceeded back to shore. Then something unexpected happen, right as she stopped when she reached waist-level and proceeded to put her bottom back on. The ocean was very choppy: high wind and big waves. And next thing I knew I saw her taking a tumble when a big wave hit her. I immediately reached out for her, only to be knocked down myself. And so we got knocked around a few times while I was trying to pull her back to her feet. It never really got dangerous but it was breathtaking. The whole episode ended with the both of us sloppily washing up on the beach, quite naked and laughing our butts off. I figured out my GF wanted to probably cover up right away; at which point she just laughed and said the "whole beach just saw me rolling around naked and on all fours while trying to get up...it doesn't make a difference now!!" at which point we walked back hand in hand, naked and giggling. When we got back to our chairs she just tossed her bikini and stood there naked while reapplying sunscreen. Evidently, she was over people seeing her nude. Just like that.

    How that got me thinking...well that was an accidental, unplanned "band aid" approach to nudism. Even though she didn't at all plan to be "publicly nude", well the turn of events caused her to be. She probably would not have gone nude (at least not publicly) that day had circumstances not "forced her" to deal with her inhibitions.

    And so I started thinking. There seem to be two approaches - more frequently for women - when approaching social nudity. The first - the "Band-Aid" approach - I've often seen: a woman arrives at the beach/resort, takes notice of all the naked people, and goes through some variation of the "When in Rome" mental processing. And just disrobes on the spot. That tends to happen where the majority of people are nude and the person feels that the logical course of action is to be nude as well.

    Then there's "Acclimatization." I guess that whereas you could say the "Band Aid" approach is result-driven, the "Acclimatization" approach is process-oriented. The goal being gradually becoming comfortable with nudity. This process can span a single-day, or many, MANY days. It can go a little something like this:
    - Stage 1: Full bathing suit.
    - Stage 2: Bathing suit bottom with sarong covering the body
    - Stage 3: Just a sarong
    - Stage 4: Topless with sarong around waist
    - Stage 5: Nude but only while laying down
    - Stage 6: Nude with some physical activity (swimming, walking)
    - Stage 7:Socially and openly nude.
    That may seem "extreme" but I chatted once with a lady who had gone through some variation of these steps over 7 trips. And she was only at Stage 5...someone trying to talk to her while lounging nude would send her scurrying for her sarong.
    My X herself went through similar stages, over two years, until a chance encounter with a friendly group of nudist women motivated her to make a "happy leap" from Stage 5 to Stage 8 (being really happy to finally be comfortable interacting and staying completely nude.)

    My question is: even though there is not statistical data to measure the success (retention) rate of either approaches; which approach seems to have a more lasting result? Which seems to work the bestest for keeping women nudist?
    Last edited by NudonyII; 04-04-2016, 02:37 PM.
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