​Unconscious nakedness parenting

[Agde]

Naturists know that being comfortable nude often starts as an "unlearning" process. But how did we learn in the first place that nudity wasn't "normal"?

My theory is that it all starts with parents somewhat unconsciously switching behaviour modes at various points in their kids' lives. For example, a forum thread in "What to Expect" (a pregnancy and parenting site) asked when was the appropriate age to stop letting your child see you naked or you to see them naked. The question of course assumed there was a time, but the answers give a kind of quick survey of general attitudes and how children get subconsciously taught. The same sort of question comes up all the time in parenting websites concerning when siblings should stop seeing each other naked (example 1, example 2), or what is “normal” when kid’s get curious about each other’s bodies.

I rarely see any naturist parents participating in these forums. Responding to kids’ curiosity and molding their attitudes intelligently and in an age-appropriate way of course takes a bit more energy (often in short supply with parents), but that is all the more reason why we, as current or previous naturist parents, really could help other parents to mold the attitudes of whole future generations by sharing what our parents told us and how we responded to our own kids at various ages. Even if it is a matter of sharing, knowing what we do now, what we wish we'd responded, it could really help parents to have ready-to-use explanations and kid-friendly rules-of-thumb. Naturist values really have a lot to say to parents who want the best for their kids, but, for want of inspiration and information, tend to just mimic their own parents.

I just suspect that naturists actively participating in parenting social networks can have a bigger impact than any amount of marches, legislative initiatives or “unlearning” strategies.

How would you respond to a 5-year old about mom’s boobs or dad’s penis? How about to an 11-year old boy about his older sister’s or sister's friend's growing chest? Or to girl who can’t understand why she is required to wear a swim top at the beach or who is desperate to buy a first bra? Or to a daughter (at various ages from pre-school to college) whom you want to be able to distinguish and be safe from sexual predators?

Don’t tell me! Go share it on a social network!

[NudonyII]

On nudist forums such as this one, I have often shared my thoughts and experiences being a nudist parent. I think people contemplating nudist parenting can benefit from someone who has done it already.

I have rarely posted on parenting websites; mostly because I think my experiences will not "resonate" with the readers as much as with nudists. I have often read on such websites about Mom and/or Dad going nude with/around their toddler (which is often deemed acceptable); and then discussing a "cut-off" point, which ranges for most textiles between 2 and 5. Then I've come along and proposed not only "no cut-off point", but nudity at home being actually extensively practiced as a way of life. And the lack of question/response to my ideas have been enough to make me throw my hands up in the air and say: "just forget it." I assume textile parents, for the most part, are just not prepared or willing to entertain that thought.

I'm not saying it can't be helpful; but for me it has mostly turned out to be an exercise in futility.

[FireProf]

I have also shared our thoughts and our parenting of our two girls early in their lives as nudists. I've also shared what we've done with our grandkids but as Nudony has stated, I also don't go on parenting forums or grandparent forums. I've/we've instilled our thoughts, beliefs and philosophies on our girls and our grandkids and they've done quite well with knowing, accepting and experiencing nudism at home, her at their grandparent's home and at a nude beach resort for an entire week. Our daughters are 38 and 42. Our grandkids are 15-6 ... we've not "cut them off" from seeing us nude. It's not all the time but we don't hide our nudity when we're in situations where they are comfortable with it.

I've run into the same response Nudony refers to. In trying to explain simple non sexual nudity to textile family, friends, acquaintances ... they can't grasp that nudity does not equal sex. For them, there's nothing else but nudity=sex. You can explain til your blue in the face. You can use any and all data, factual experiences and they won't believe you even if it's right in front of them. I've thrown my hands in the air as well and just said ... "it's your problem you don't get it. I get, my girls get it, my grandkids get it... that's enough for me."

[natureboy1776]

Although not on a public forum I have talked with a close friend at work. She is aware of my willingness to do nude activities. She confided in me that she was feeling guilty that she "still" changes her clothes in front of her kids, 4 and 1. I told her of studies that indicate nudity at home can help develop healthy body image and there is no firm cut off age. I insisted she had nothing to be guilty about and should instead feel proud that she is sharing honesty and positive body image with her kids. She thanked me for helping her feel better.

[NudonyII]

Although not on a public forum I have talked with a close friend at work. She is aware of my willingness to do nude activities. She confided in me that she was feeling guilty that she "still" changes her clothes in front of her kids, 4 and 1. I told her of studies that indicate nudity at home can help develop healthy body image and there is no firm cut off age. I insisted she had nothing to be guilty about and should instead feel proud that she is sharing honesty and positive body image with her kids. She thanked me for helping her feel better.

I've had a similar experience with a co-worker and friend as well. Her situation was a bit different though. She had serious hang-ups and had never been nude around her son, then 4, who himself loved to be nude and run around their home naked. She really had no idea how to handle the situation and would often yell at him for tossing his clothes. So she came to me for advice, knowing I was a family nudist. I shared my experiences and perspective on family nudity, and we had constructive conversations about her own issues. I think she found some reassurance with me that she could go a "different way" when it came to her son and nudity at home. She started letting her son be nude at home. Then one day she decided to wanted to stop "hiding." I again gave her my outlook on parental nudity. She decided to "go with it" and came back to me later; and quite happy. She had not only gone through with her decision to stop hiding, but had found it so rewarding that she'd started spending time nude at home herself. Her relationship with her son had improved because she no longer had fears about letting him be nude and being nude around him. She thanked me for introducing the idea of family nudity to her and helping her overcome her issues. Her happiness was really rewarding to me.

I think "one-on-one" advice is more rewarding than posting in forums. I'll defend family nudism if I think it can make a positive impact. Parental forums are a lot less rewarding because the audience is completely anonymous.