Annie's Mailbox for 2/8/07

[BillyD]

What are your thoughts on the question and advice in today's Annie's Mailbox? My first thought is the guy doesn't know how lucky he is.

Dear Annie: I am 34, and my wife is 24. We've been married for two years, and I am the happiest man alive. She is everything you could ask for in a wife and lover, except for one thing.

My wife is a nudist. We have a rather private backyard and a pool, so she just hops in the pool in the buff with never a concern that someone might see her. I had only met her family on two occasions before we wed, but when they came to visit, they all went swimming in the nude (her father, mother and brother). I was somewhat taken aback, but figured, "when in Rome."

However, a UPS driver delivered a package the other day, and my wife answered the door wearing panties and an open blouse. She wasn't wearing a bra, and she has a fabulous figure. When I said this was a little inappropriate, her answer was, "He's old enough to be my father."

Last week, she called me at work and asked if I could come home early as she wanted me to meet her brother's best friend. When I got home, they were all swimming in the nude. When my wife got out of the pool, I can tell you that her brother's friend was not looking at her like a sister.

I don't think she is promiscuous, but how can she treat her body so trivially? She has an advanced degree, a wonderful job and is very religious. Am I just an old fogey? — Bradenton, Fla.

Dear Bradenton: Not at all. Your wife may be a nudist, but she is also an exhibitionist. She enjoys going without clothes and likes others to see her that way. Insist, as a sign of respect for you, that she cover up when non-relatives are present, especially when she answers the door, for heaven's sake. She could get into serious trouble doing that, no matter how old the deliveryman is.

[BillyD]

What are your thoughts on the question and advice in today's Annie's Mailbox? My first thought is the guy doesn't know how lucky he is.

Dear Annie: I am 34, and my wife is 24. We've been married for two years, and I am the happiest man alive. She is everything you could ask for in a wife and lover, except for one thing.

My wife is a nudist. We have a rather private backyard and a pool, so she just hops in the pool in the buff with never a concern that someone might see her. I had only met her family on two occasions before we wed, but when they came to visit, they all went swimming in the nude (her father, mother and brother). I was somewhat taken aback, but figured, "when in Rome."

However, a UPS driver delivered a package the other day, and my wife answered the door wearing panties and an open blouse. She wasn't wearing a bra, and she has a fabulous figure. When I said this was a little inappropriate, her answer was, "He's old enough to be my father."

Last week, she called me at work and asked if I could come home early as she wanted me to meet her brother's best friend. When I got home, they were all swimming in the nude. When my wife got out of the pool, I can tell you that her brother's friend was not looking at her like a sister.

I don't think she is promiscuous, but how can she treat her body so trivially? She has an advanced degree, a wonderful job and is very religious. Am I just an old fogey? — Bradenton, Fla.

Dear Bradenton: Not at all. Your wife may be a nudist, but she is also an exhibitionist. She enjoys going without clothes and likes others to see her that way. Insist, as a sign of respect for you, that she cover up when non-relatives are present, especially when she answers the door, for heaven's sake. She could get into serious trouble doing that, no matter how old the deliveryman is.

[danorganic]

Hey that was my thought too he is a lucky guy there are so many male nudists that would love their wife would join in. But he is not a nudist so i can understand why he feels the way he does. You would have to have an naturist/nudist ideal to be comfortable with this idea. The advice is along the same old thought that nudity is sexual. Although probably shouldnt be answering the door that way. But even then what is the big deal. Before I became a nudist I did room service in a hotel and the people would answer doors just out of the shower with towels falling off and guys in their underwear and they knew I would be there with thier order. I didnt bother me but i guess i had the nude gene in me already.
Dan

[DoctorSurferDude]

I think probably hubby needs to bring some stuff to the table. She seems like a nudist for the most part, but the opting to answer the door so scantly clad is maybe bordering on getting a rise out of the unsuspecting....which seems a lot like exhibitionism.

It seems like he has done his best to go against his natural tendancy and join in participating in the nudism....it seems like she hasn't done anything to respect his wishes....

I this situation he seems pretty reasonable....she's a little unreasonable and should probably respect her husbands feelings a little more.

[BeachBum]

I agree with the Doc. Seems like she was raised in a nudist environment and there is nothing wrong with that. However, when one answers the door for a delivery man and is in the nude (or partially nude), that may send the wrong signal to the person on the other side of the door -- especially if that person is not a nudist and does not know anything about our lifestyle. They may view it as an invitation for something not truely intended. This guy does not know how lucky he really is. My wife spends all her time covering herself and telling me how fat she is.....

[Naturist Mark]

On the other hand, the incidents are being filtered through the reactions of a somewhat jealous non nudist spouse. We don't know how open or long the blouse was - it may not have been as revealing as reported. We don't know if the brother's friend was leering inappropriately or if the husband was just fearing that he was. She sounds exhibitionist because he wanted it to sound like she was - it seems like he is attributing her pleasure at nudity to be a desire to be seen nude rather than just a lack of phobia against it - there is no evidence in the brief evidence given that she is nude outside the home or anyplace that she shouldn't be - unlike most nudists.

It is very easy for non nudists, especially jealous non nudists to ascribe baser motives to the joy of being clothesfree. Looks like "Annie" fell for it.

-Mark

[nudeM]

Being a nudist is one thing, but answering the door nude is another. Pancing around the house (nude) among household members would be suffice, but around others, especially if the husband is uncomfortable, would be cause for alarm. She should back off some. There should be some sort of compromise.

Being raised in a nudist environment may not be in the best interest of the husband, but this should have been discussed beforehand. Did he not know this before gettng married? Apparently not.

By coming home and seeing others in the pool, all of them nude, would have been a shock, but again, if the nudist issue was discussed before marriage, then the shock effect would not have been created.

Hopefully in the long run, we will find out that this husband will eventually come around and join in, in the household nude atmosphere, or we may find another episode of "Girl Gone Wild".

[tiger79]

Call me an old cynic, but I didn't feel totally convinced that the question was genuine. Something about the way it was written.

[nacktman]

Ditto, on that one tiger79!

[naturalmanwa]

I agree with the Doc also. Answering the door nude to a stranger is asking for trouble no matter what sex they are. Family and close freinds are one thing and I think she needs to respect her husband's wishes in order to maintain a close relationship in the marriage.

[garbo]

Nudist or exhibitionist, common sense tells us this situation makes little sense. One would think that in two years of marriage that her nude activities would be clearly defined by now! Agreed, most of us men would LOVE.. OK, kill for a non-reluctant nudist spouse, but her actions are not realistic. Although it is unrealistic that she find herself swimming nude with her brother's best friend, it is even more unrealistic to answer the front door with an open blouse to a complete stranger! This goes against common sense for decency and safety, unless the home were in a nudist resort. I think these two lovebirds need to get on the same page or it might lead to trouble down the road!

[Nude in the North]

It looks to me like "Annie" is the "Old Fogey".

This fella says His Pool and Back yard is "rather private". So what is the concern that a neighbor will see?
He says she was wearing panties and a shirt (he doesn't say how open it was ) when the UPS man delivered a package. That's a long way from being Nude.
And he thinks she treats her body "trivially" because she is comfortable in her skin.

What's wrong with swimming with your brother and his best friend? Her brother was also raised a nudist. So it's likely his best friend is an nudist too.

Annie, without ever having met this woman, jumps to the conclusion that she is an EXHIBITIONIST!!!
Isn't that what every PRUDE thinks of nudists?

This guy needs to count his lucky stars. Learn something about nudism. And be grateful that his wife isn't enveloped in Body Shame and Low Self Esteem.

quote:

She has an advanced degree, a wonderful job and is very religious.

I think he's just afraid. He needs to lighten up a little.

Steve

[Al Bundy]

I agree with Naturist Mark and Nude In The North. My guess is the letter is bias and a good chance of exaggeration. I would like to hear the wifes side of the story. I find it odd that he was not aware that she was a nudist before they married.

[DoctorSurferDude]

At Olive Dell there are a number of young people who were raised as nudists. As a group we sometimes take field trips....to the mall, a park or wherever.

There is a very clear difference between being nude around fellow nudists and being nude in front of textiles. On these outings....nobody tries to push any limits, nobody dresses skimpy, nobody accidentally exposes anything or exposes anything for sake of convenience....so what I'm saying is that to do so would be inconsistent with how most nudists raised in a nudist environment would feel.

Nudity is viewed differently by non-nudists....nudists know that and the vast majority respect that dynamic.

If you choose to expose yourself to an unexpecting viewer.....you sort of exit the nudist realm....because the dynamic of the experience changes. Their reaction will be one of suprise or shock, they may mistake the motivation as being an act of allure, they will take away a vivid memory that will likely not represent nudism at all, they will tell the story of how "this hot chick once answered the door wearing nuthin more than panties", and who knows...the story might propogate and could go so far as to come with a label...a reputation.... my guess is that what is spun of such events won't benefit nudism in any way shape or form....it can do nothing but damage.

The lines of nudism are too often blurred into the realm of sexuality.....it is an unfortunate product of misinterpretation. It is VERY important that we as nudists represent nudity in a positive way at all times...and never in a way that would or could be misinterpreted as exhibitioinism or anything less than polite.

It is somewhat unimportant whether or not the wife is actually an exhibitionist. The problem is that she is percieved as one....by the guy at the door, and by Annie, and now by God knows how many readers of the newspaper column.

Worth it? Heck no....

She needs to listen to the requests of her husband....because at this point, his compromises would likely benefit nudism on a small scale.....whereas her little freedoms at home have likely damaged the consensus of nudism on a much larger scale.

Although nudism is an individual right....it comes with a responsibility to the collective whole.

[EricNY]

Excellent comment Doc