Annie's Mailbox--art nude mode wife

[Bob S.]

From Annie's mailboxon Jan 4:

Dear Annie: My wife and I are recently married, and we moved to a new town a year ago. Our neighbor is an art professor at a community college. He is a kind gentleman, and we spend a fair amount of time together, having each other over for dinners, cookouts, etc. Last summer, he asked my wife to would work as a model for two of his drawing classes. He has trouble finding models during the day, and she is a homemaker. She agreed. Well, she recently brought home one of the professor's sketches from class and I was shocked to see that she posed in the nude. She assumed I knew what kind of models work for college art classes, but I was really upset. She said she enjoys the work and would like to keep doing it.
Now I find myself uncomfortable when the three of us are together, knowing that he sees her naked on a regular basis. If the class were taught by a stranger, I would have less of a problem with it. He has already asked her back for next semester, and I'd like her to say no. She says I am being unreasonably jealous. Is she right? — The Husband
Dear Husband: Art class models are not objects of sexual desire. They are simply a way to help students draw the human form. We doubt the professor thinks about your wife in any way other than as a friend and colleague. Here's our recommendation: Attend the class a few times to see exactly what's going on. If you still feel that the professor or the students have a prurient interest in your wife, or if you believe your wife is doing this because she wants to be seductive, you should ask her to stop for the health of your marriage.

[natureboy1776]

Seems to me the husband needs to learn that his wife is not his possession that someone might steal away from him. She is a person who has chosen to share her life with him. With that in mind, when she finds something that makes her happy, he should support her. Otherwise he is giving her reason to leave.

[garbo]

First, in life, assume nothing! The Annies Mailbox situation does not say the couple (or individuals) were nudists. We assume they are not.

Although certainly not a guarantee, an open and honest communication is critical to the success of most marriages. I assume that the professor nor his wife advised him, in advance, that modeling in art class was done nude. Never assume. Going behind his back, of course he would be upset and suspicious and possibly jealous. Nudists excluded, there are certain issues in our society that can be considered triggers and nudity outside the home is definitely high on that list. We assume that trust was not an issue here, but even with the most trusting, our societal obsession with sexuality can make one suspicious. Perhaps if she had been nude in a nudist environment (venue) it may have been perceived differently. Now, other questions can arise... what else are you not telling me? Do you enjoy being nude in front of others, even in art class? Are you a closet exhibitionist or worse? Then, to himself, are these values something I can live with and agree?

The question regarding having the professor over again, knowing what you now know, is one that he can only answer for himself. I hope whatever the answer is, that his wife agrees as well.

[natureboy1776]

I'm not sure that last post was a response to mine or not. The only point I got out of it was about open and honest communication being important. Oh and don't assume anything, I assume. Sorry Garbo, Do you realize how many times you followed "don't assume anything" with "I assume"?

In the letter to Anne, The husband seems to have two problems, he is jealous and he is clueless. The wife may have omitted the class was nude but she did not do the class behind the husband's back. I bet it was obvious to the wife from talking to the neighbor that he was asking her to pose nude. The husband just did not grasp that.
My earlier post was about the jealousy. It is a useless emotion of insecurity, often with self-fulfilling consequences.

[garbo]

well, nature boy, i am feeling kinda stupid now based on your post. My guess is not to drink and post! You are right... too many assumes.

Since I like my wine, perhaps I will refrain from posting for a while.

[natureboy1776]

I didn't mean to make you feel stupid. I actually thought you were being funny. The last thing this forum needs is anyone refraining form posting. Proofreading maybe.

[steve-o]

Natureboy, I think you were exactly right on all points. Even if he was clueless that it was nude posing, when he finally got it maybe he has a right to be surprised but not jealous or upset. It was not sexual or provocative in any way. In It is her choice and it is a professional, educational environment. He needs to loosen up, let it go, and appreciate that she is open to it and that she is a good model.

--s