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  • I have a concern

    Okay, I was raised in a Mormon family with a strong pioneer heritage. Now, I have no problems with sexual nudity, but I'm not married yet and there is this girl I'd like to date and marry.

    She is, or will be, 22. When she gets back, I intend to date her. My concern is this: she is probably very conservative, bordering on radical, as far as non-sexual nudity=good.

    Her parents, whome I know, are conservative mormons as well. So it is a good chance that nudity=sex is hardwired into her psychology. I want to date this girl because she is a Mormon, and as of October, a returned Missionary. Very desireable traits in a mate.

    Religion aside, can anyone give any suggestions in showing her that nudity does not always equal sex, and it is a good thing?

  • #2
    Okay, I was raised in a Mormon family with a strong pioneer heritage. Now, I have no problems with sexual nudity, but I'm not married yet and there is this girl I'd like to date and marry.

    She is, or will be, 22. When she gets back, I intend to date her. My concern is this: she is probably very conservative, bordering on radical, as far as non-sexual nudity=good.

    Her parents, whome I know, are conservative mormons as well. So it is a good chance that nudity=sex is hardwired into her psychology. I want to date this girl because she is a Mormon, and as of October, a returned Missionary. Very desireable traits in a mate.

    Religion aside, can anyone give any suggestions in showing her that nudity does not always equal sex, and it is a good thing?

    Comment


    • #3
      Atlantis,

      I am supposing that you are not much older than twenty-two yourself. I assumed this because you already want to marry her even though you have not yet dated her and presumably spent lots of quality time with her. If that is the case, you both would have no idea at all if marriage was even in the cards for you.

      As a matter of fact, one of the few things you do suspect about her seems to indicate a major potential source of stress and conflict.

      It is wishful thinking to assume that you can provide a few Bible verses to this girl and in so doing, overcome years of body-shame conditioning with a short conversation.

      Perhaps you should try to make the acquaintance of a Mormon girl who is faithful to her beliefs, but also more inclined to think for herself.

      You also talked about being Mormon as a desireable trait in a prospective bride. I have met a couple of Mormon girls who had a lot of emotional baggage and would definitely not be good wives. Others I have met were mature and well-balanced. It really depends on the individual. Now if you simply mean that it is good if a married couple share the same religious beliefs, that I can agree with.

      You also mentioned that her parents are very conservative. Because she is so young and only recently left home, it is also likely that her parents continue to have a strong influence on her decisions. I have seen many young couples driven to the brink of divorce because of meddling parents and in-laws. It is not always possible to marry the greatest girl in the world and simultaneously get the greatest in-laws in the world, but it is nice when it works out that way.

      The best rule of thumb about your mate's lifestyle is to assume that whatever she was before you married, that's what you will get after you marry.
      She can change up to a point. If she is a carefree skinny-dipper, maybe she will become a full-fledged nudist someday. But not too many little prudes grow up to be carefree nudes!

      May I suggest that the most faithful followers of God are not always the ones who make a great outward show of conformity, while the girl who has a reputation for being a little on the wild side, may actually have a pure heart.

      If you are a nudist, you know what I am talking about.

      I hear endless complaints from guys who want to meet single marriage-minded girls who are official card-carrying, resort-going nudists. For these men I have good news and bad news.
      The bad news is: there are few to no females in the above category.
      The good news is: there are lots of cuties out there, nice wholesome girls who are not body-shy and would love to go skinny-dipping with a fellow as long as he doesn't pounce on her the minute she drops her panties. I have met quite a few myself like that.

      Please don't chase prudish girls hoping to make nudists out of them!

      Finally, it is pretty easy to demonstrate that nudity isn't always a sexual situation.
      Ask any doctor or nurse at the hospitals in Salt Lake City if they have seen naked people of the opposite sex. If the answer is yes, ask if they found that seeing naked patients is a very sexy thing. They will laugh you out of the hospital!!!

      Ask the same question to artists who work with nudes. The answer is usually that they see their subjects as beautiful and awe-inspiring, but the artist becomes used to seeing nudity and it is generally not a sexual situation.

      Ask any anthropologists about those tribes of people who live in tropical America, Asia, Africa and Australia who are habitually nude. Same story: these people spend their whole day nude and it is not a constant orgy. They hunt, fish, tend gardens, build huts, sing songs in the nude. They have sex, but no more so than people who wear clothes all the time.

      I wish all of nudism's critics would spend one day at a family nudist resort. Nudist camps have been compared to church picnics! Nudist resorts are like any other fancy resort, just a little more honest and open, and a whole lot more comfortable.

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi Atlantis Buff,
        I can't add anything to Trailscout's wise advice, but I would suggest that you have a look at a very informative website for Mormon nudists,
        http://www.ldssdc.info/
        No nude pictures, no inappropriate language, hopefully suitable for your friend and her family, too.
        You have my best wishes for your future happiness, however it comes about.

        Comment


        • #5
          quote:
          Originally posted by Rex:
          [qb] Hi Atlantis Buff,
          I can't add anything to Trailscout's wise advice, but I would suggest that you have a look at a very informative website for Mormon nudists,
          http://www.ldssdc.info/
          No nude pictures, no inappropriate language, hopefully suitable for your friend and her family, too.
          You have my best wishes for your future happiness, however it comes about. [/qb]
          I've seen that site. I've been regularly viewing it. I wanted to know what everyone else may say. Mormon nudists raised to be Nudists in america, whatever their gender, are but a small group among a very small demographic.

          Although according to this site, a survey was taken fifty years ago and about 2% of the nudists surveyed said that they belonged to the LDS church.

          I know it's hard, it's like Lincoln, Grant, and Johnson undertaking the Reconstruction of the South. I just wanted advice on how to proceed.

          Comment


          • #6
            Nudists in and of themselves are a rare breed of people. They are hard to come by. Mormon nudists, such as me, are an extremely rare breed. It's difficult enough to find nudist friends, especially ones that are Mormons.

            However I would say the LDSSDC site, though not a dating site, would be a great place to meet an Mormon women that isn't chained down by body shame.

            Comment


            • #7
              quote:
              Originally posted by Atlantis Buff:
              [qb] Okay, I was raised in a Mormon family with a strong pioneer heritage. Now, I have no problems with sexual nudity, but I'm not married yet and there is this girl I'd like to date and marry.
              [/qb]
              Trailscout gave excellent advice, so I'll just second it warmly and move on to raise a somewhat different issue.

              What you have written leaves the impression that you are making plans to marry a young woman whom you haven't even dated. If so, then I think you have dreamed yourself into an unpromising future.

              How do you know that she will even agree to date you, let alone marry you? You're wondering how to convert her to naturism when it sounds like you don't even know what kind of ice cream she likes.

              And you seem to be assuming that her conservative religious upbringing militates agains her accepting recreational nudity. It does work that way for some. There are also highly conservative religious people who understand the beauty and holiness of the body that God created, and who are therefore not ashamed of it and do not feel the need to hide it.

              My recommendation is that you work to get yourself more in touch with reality. Develop your plan for obtaining a first date. Use that first date to show her such a good time that you'll be able to get a second date, and perhaps then a third. Concentrate on listening, understanding, and appreciating her for what she is and isn't, not for what you imagine she is.

              Along the course of a few dates it will become obvious that you either have enough in common to think about building a life together or you don't. If you do, a natural part of the progression is that you each reveal the deeper levels of your lives to each other. That's the time to share you interest in naturism, and see how she responds.

              Good luck.

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi Atlantis,

                I to was raised in a "conservative" religion. I'm a Seventh-day Adventist and like Mormons we are often labeled as being on the fringe of normal. I can understand where your coming from so I'll try to give my bit of advice from (hopefully) yet another perspective.

                First,

                quote:
                Okay, I was raised in a Mormon family with a strong pioneer heritage. Now, I have no problems with sexual nudity, but I'm not married yet and there is this girl I'd like to date and marry.
                I get the feeling that "stong pioneer heritage" means more than it might appear too. In my church missionary work is placed high on ways to serve God. I've studied much of the mormon faith (even took classes from some missionaries) and heritage has alot more to do with the religion than my faith. Please correct me if I am wrong.

                I also assume that the the reference to 'sexual nudity' was meant to read 'nonsexual nudity'. If not, then the degree of difference in conservatism between you and this girl will definately be a problem in the future.

                Ok, now for an attempt at advise:

                For me, and I think for you, Religion comes before anything in life. Nudism is nice and a wonderful aspect of living, but it is nothing when compared to choosing a life that honors our creator.

                When it comes to choosing a bride, all things must be taken into account, but all things must be kept in perspective at the same time. There is a danger in seeking a dream woman. I know several men who have so many standards to be met that they never find anyone to be content with.

                For me (26 then 28 now), marrying outside of my faith was not an option. It was not a matter of salvation, but I place my beliefs and perspective high in my life and wanted someone I knew would share these identical views of life. This was a major issue for me. It isn't for everyone.

                Other qualities apply. I wanted a tall, beach-loving, intelligent, drop-dead gorgeous, funny, sexy woman (plus some other things that I forget right now). God blessed me with all of them. I also wanted nudism. But while it was a factor it was by no means how or why I choose my mate.

                We talked about nudity and such after we started dating. Both of us "waited till marrige" to have sex. We would practise home nudity alot, though, and were very comfortable around each other. (that was a gradual process)

                What we never did together before we married was visit a nude beach or resort. We talked about it and she said she might want to try it someday. But, the virdict is still out on that.

                Today, while I'm a part-time full nudist, my wife has yet to try social nudism. She is ok at home, in the yard, and outdoors in places like hot springs (as long as the population of people is zero or close to zero). She just fears a place like a local nude beach, where she is scared she'll see someone she might know. She would try social nudism in another country.

                I must add that as much as it would be nice if my wife (24 then 26 now) came with me to nude beaches, I am by no means unsatisfied or regretful of her. She is, no matter what, the perfect woman for me. I would not change a thing about her. Few people find love like ours and I just wish more could.

                Well, that's my story, here's some quick pointers:

                1. Like was said, first date the girl and find out if your compatible.
                2. Talk. Talk about many things. Talk about nudity. Talk about nudism. Be honest with her and yourself in these discussions.
                3. If you want to practise any form of nudism in your marrige, such as sleeping nude, hanging around the house nude, layig out nude, nude beaches, etc; be sure to do it before you marry. It will increase the odds that she is likely to do it after you marry.
                4. Keep your priorities in check. Seek love first.
                5. Pray...alone and together.

                The journey and decisions to be made when seeking and choosing a bride are alot to think about. But when she is the right one, you will know it. You will not have doubt, nor will doubt ever enter your mind. Best wishes on your venture. God Bless,

                Fresh Air

                Comment


                • #9
                  Fresh Air,
                  You certainly make a lot of good sense. I especially like your statement, "Keep your priorities in check".

                  Congratulations in finding the right one for you, and I wish you both continued happiness for the future.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thank you everyone for your advice. I think I know the best way to proceed. But I know that this girl doesn't mind to date me because I asked her if I could and she thought it was a great idea.

                    Ben_M, I'm going to be a marine biologist; so I'll be definitely leaving Utah for the job I'd like to do.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Freshair: Your advice to Atlantis was one of the best written replies to an inquiry from a "newbie" I've ever seen on these boards.
                      It's a great example that a post can be so interesting that the length is not even an issue.
                      You're always one our more thoughtful contributors. We're glad to have you.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Thanks Bartmus,

                        I appreciate what you said.

                        Fresh Air

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I also agree with Fresh Air. When you are dating and looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, you must look at the whole of the person, not just parts.

                          In your case Atlantis, you must decide whether adverseness to nudism is a deal-breaker. If so, then she may not be for you. If not, then keep your eye on her.

                          Bob S.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hi!

                            I'm Atlantis Buff with a "new" name (if you haven't figured it out from my style). Thanks Bob S.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Very well stated Fresh Air!

                              Set your priorties of what you would like to have in a spouse. Find out what things you have to have and other traits/characteristics that aren't that important. You are fortunate, in that, you are first exploring this and then dating etc... It is going to assist in the compatibility issues once you are in a committed relationship which should help it to be a successful one.

                              T

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