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I'm interested, but my wife isn't...

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  • I'm interested, but my wife isn't...

    I'm really interested in nudism... I've been to Playalinda Beach a couple of times, and Haulover once. I really didn't stay long, I just wanted to go long enough to get a sense of how comfortable I would be with being nude in front of other nude individuals. I've always considered myself a nudist, as I rarely wear clothes around the house (unless others are over, of course), or in my back yard.
    I would really like my wife to join me for a day at a beach, or a resort, as I've never felt so comfortable or free as I did those few hours I spent by myself, but she's not the least bit interested. I really don't want to do it by myself... and most resorts wouldn't allow me to go by myself anyway.
    My question is this: what would be the best way to try to get my wife to join me on a beach or a resort? I don't want to nag her, because I don't want her to go just because I wore her down... I'd like her to want to go with me. I'd really appreciate as many womens' points of view as possible... guys' experiences would help, too, though. Thanks!

  • #2
    my personal experience was to choose a clothing optional lodge! that way she could decide on her own when to disrobe! she enjoyed the hot tubs with just the two of us and that was a start! i'm nude in the home (have been for six years) although not around daughter who is twenty-five! i don't feel i should make it law that we all go nude! if forced it could make for a bad experience and that's not what it's about! hang in there and take every nude moment you're allowed! to date - my wife still chooses not to be nude even in the house with the two of us alone!


    • #3
      You want her to join you, bribe her. Money..lots of money and jewelry and a Farrari would be nice! NO..JUST KIDDING!

      Compromise..common ground..make her a part of the "family-leisure" decision. Find out what SHE wants and go for it. If nudism goes against her grain, as it does most women, you can't force her to participate or risk irreputable harm in your marriage. Next to adultry, social nudism might be second on the list of things least tolerated. If there is something in it (the experience) for her, it will be an easier sell. If that does not work, you will have to weigh the consequences. Good luck!


      • #4
        Be confident in what you want for yourself, and be respectful that she may never want to do it. However, it is critical that you be open and honest with her about your reasons for being interest, especially if you are like many folks who've not previously expressed an open interest because you weren't sure how it'd be received / wanted to be sure about what formal nudism was all about before talking about it.

        At the moment, my wife opts out. She does not have a problem with me doing it, but she has no desire to participate yet. This, however, is all fairly new -- since February -- that i've been attending events.

        Also, know your relationship. Lots of misinfo is out there on nudism for folks to get the wrong idea. You don't want her to worry that this is about checking out babes or swinging, or sex. Some non purist organizations for the latter exist, so keep that in mind, too. Although, i stress, those are NOT nudists or naturists. They are naked swingers who happen to also be nudists.


        • #5
          Trade offs are always a good way to compromise.
          I get to go to the nude beach once a year. She get's to go to Mountains.
          If she doesn't want to be nude atleast that way she might come with anyway. Make sure she knows that you won't pressure her into getting nude. Let her decide if and when that happens.
          Maybe even take her somewhere she want's to go first. That way she will know your willing to give as good as you get.



          • #6
            Oakley, I strongly suggest you read the topic "I am a reluctant spouse" that was started by sue (sad-eyes) ( reluctant spouse topic ) which is very appropriate for a view of the other half (i.e., don't alienate her! - it's not clear from your original post is she agrees to it or even knows about you going to nude beach by yourself...)

            Do you know WHY she is not interested?

            Good luck.


            • #7
              It also sounds a bit like me 2-3 years ago. In retrospect, my advice would be to be open about everything, even if it causes akwardness. If you are going to a "nude" beach. Let her know. Talk to her about what it means to you. If it is not a fad, let her know it isn't. Try not to get upset with her for making her own choices, even if the gets upset with you for making yours. Reassure her that you want her company more than her beside you nude.

              My wife not joins me at nude beaches. She has yet to go nude herself, but I'm deffinately somewhere I never thought I'd arrive. Good luck on your own journey.



              • #8
                Hello, Oakley:

                My advice would be for you and your wife to go for a day in the country.

                At a secluded forest or park like area, go for a walk/picnic.
                If no people around, do some nude(free)hiking.
                Note to your wife how cool and relaxed you are.
                She may join you or be encouraged to join you.
                This would be a good first step.
                Nude outdoors.

                After gaining this achievement and comfort, your wife may now be confident to join you at a clothing optional beach or resort.
                Do this on a weekend day when lots of other people are there to enjoy the clothes free lifestyle.
                Noting all this, she may then join in.

                Good luck!


                • #9
                  Hey everyone to there own way of life. My wife loves me naked 24/7 but she on the other hand only wants to be nude at certain times. Go figure? Somedays she is fully dressed and even wears clothes to bed. Other days I will come home from work and she is nude and stays nude all evening. In the summer by the pool she is always nude and I love it. I just accept her the way she is.



                  • #10
                    Thanks to everyone for their input... as I said, I would never dream of "forcing" her to join me, or even to nag her into it. I would never want her to do something just because I wore her down... that wouldn't make for a good experience for either of us.

                    I will keep trying, but I've actually already tried in the past some of the things suggested here. At any rate, thanks again for the help... I'll just keep trying to find a way.


                    • #11
                      First, I would suggest to get an article from either The Natursist Society or AANR on nudism from a woman's perspective. I have seen these especially in issues of "Nude & Natural".

                      Second, I agree w/Keith''s suggestion above; take her to a clothing OPTIONAL place where she feels secure.

                      Thirdly, you may want to get a video on nudism from TNS or AANR; there are qyute a few of them.

                      It seems like the women I know who embrace nudism the most are the ones who were the most scared at first . . . go figure.

                      Hope this helps.


                      • #12
                        I, too am new to nudism. Went with my wife into the mountains on a 4x4 road, and just had to get naked in the woods. Told her I always wanted to do it. Just striped down and went for a short stoll in the woods.

                        She is very self concious about her body and only rarely sleeps topless and never in the nude.

                        When I got back to the car I told her how great it felt.

                        Two weeks later I just went for a longer walk naked and she suprised me by taking off her shirt and sunning herself for a bit until we thought we heard a car coming, tuned out to be an airplane several miles away.

                        I thanked her for joining me topless and told her she did not have to join me, but I really enjoy being naked in the great outdoors.

                        I can hardly wait for the next weekend to find another isolated mountain road.


                        • #13
                          [QUOTE]Originally posted by DAllen:
                          Two weeks later I just went for a longer walk naked and she suprised me by taking off her shirt and sunning herself for a bit

                          My wife will go with me to our nudist club, but she is still unhappy about me going for a naked walk. I think she'd enjoy it too, but getting her to come along may be a bit of a big leap, so I'm impressed your wife has joined you in a public, albeit wild, place.

                          In answer to the original poster - pressure is definitely the wrong way to go. All you can do is raise the subject occassionally and let the cogs slowly turn of their own accord, answering each and every question patiently. She may come round in her own good time, but she certainly won't come around in yours.



                          • #14
                            I took my wife to a resort in Jamaica that had a "nude island" (Couples, Ocho Rios). She knew I wanted to go over to the island, but I held off asking. Finally, toward the end of the trip, she suggested we go over and see it.


                            • #15

                              So what happened?