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  • Introducing Children/Teens to Naturism

    My wife and I are new to naturism. I am alredy comfortable nude and my wife is open to explore the lifestyle. We are planning to visit a local resort soon. My question is how to get the kids involved? We've been open with them and encouraged them to sleep nude, but everyone in the house still covers up after showers, etc. My kids are 8 to 13 years old and I don't want to push them, but I do want them to try it. The oldest seems to be the one who is most uncomfortable. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif[/img] Any suggestions or coments would be welcome.

  • #2
    My wife and I are new to naturism. I am alredy comfortable nude and my wife is open to explore the lifestyle. We are planning to visit a local resort soon. My question is how to get the kids involved? We've been open with them and encouraged them to sleep nude, but everyone in the house still covers up after showers, etc. My kids are 8 to 13 years old and I don't want to push them, but I do want them to try it. The oldest seems to be the one who is most uncomfortable. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif[/img] Any suggestions or coments would be welcome.

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    • #3
      quote:
      Originally posted by smid:
      [qb]Any suggestions or coments would be welcome.[/qb]
      I don't think there's any easy answer to this.

      No doubt you'll get people saying that you shouldn't push the kids into this and you should let them find their own way on the basis, I suspect, that pushing kids into naturism is considered tantamount to child abuse.

      But some of these same people would be quite happy to insist that their kids go to church every Sunday or insist that their kids do their homework or practise the piano or all sorts of other things which are deemed beneficial to children even if the kids themselves don't see it the same way.

      Of their own volition I doubt that most kids are naturally naturist because they are subject to those same cultural pressures which prevent most adults from being naturists. I doubt also that most children would become naturists just because their parents are except in the case of children having been brought up in a naturist environment from the very start.

      So the logical advice is if you believe that naturism is beneficial to children then you should be insistent that they practise it. You can expect to meet some resistance from the children and you could be critized by family and friends if they are aware but, in my view, as long as you have a totally loving and trusting relationship with your children then you should have no long term problems.

      Rik

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      • #4
        As always...honest communication is the key. The 13 yr old (B or G?) is probably uncomfortable because of the way they have always been raised, and the onset of puberty! It's an odd time anyway. However, if they feel they can be honest around you, and you respect their feelings, and see you nude and enjoying yourselves, they may come around.

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        • #5
          Rik,

          At the ages the inquirer mentioned, having the kids feel that their feelings are important is important. If what I read in the book "Growing Up Without Shame" is anything to go by, then yes, forcing the issue could become a problem.

          Inquirer,

          The above said, feeling the kids out on a nude beach or resort outing, then, at least once or twice, then bringing them along and having them be nude while there shouldn't be too much to ask either. Maybe you could have a nude evening at home. I know my dad and I used to play Risk, Monopoly, and similar games when I was that age, so having a nude game night could also be a good idea. A now-and-then approach might be better than all-the-time approach.

          Doug H.

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          • #6
            It seems to me that forcing anyone to be nude against their will, at any age, goes against the whole spirit of naturism. In my view, one of the main goals is to provide environments where people feel safe and accepted to CHOOSE to be nude (whether that is at home or in public).

            Just as we don't like being forced to wear clothes, why would we then want to force anyone to be nude??

            Moreover, I imagine if when I had been a teen my parents had suddently decided that I must be nude, I would have become MORE resistant to the idea of nudism, not less.

            I would recommend taking the kids to a clothing optional beach where they have the CHOICE to be nude or not. If they are resistant to even that idea I would suggest that you make a bargain with them--that is, ask them just to try it once with you and if they don't enjoy it then they never have to go again (I think that if they know that they don't have to be nude, that should relieve much of their apprehension).

            By the way, there is a similar post in the Young Naturists section titled "Question for younger people" at:
            http://www.clothesfree.com/cgi-bin/u...;f=11;t=000005

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            • #7
              WELL, since the kids were not raised in a nudist home, i would not force the kids to be nude. you could be nude in the house so they get used to what nude bodies are like.

              with the ages of your kids, i would think that if dad did anything with them, it would be a special occasion. most parents are so busy, its difficult to take quality time out to spend with the kids. so i would suggest planning special nude outings with the kids so they realize that naked time means special family time. plan day trips to a nude resort or beach or camping area. start now to spend quality time with them and eventually maybe they will want to do it on their own. your kids are at a difficult time, so good luck.

              my oldest (eight years old) is already modest and will only go nude with us at home when no one is scheduled to be here. my wife and i are always nude and he used to be always nude, but last year he became modest [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img] . some kids would rather not be nude. at least my 8 yr. old boy sleeps nude (but our 6 yr. old boy won't sleep nude although he's often nude around the house and always in the pool - go figure)....

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              • #8
                This would depend on how long you have been open with them and what you have done. Just talking with them will not do much. Do you go naked at home? If not, I would try to start. Let the kids know that you are relaxing the dress code at home and that they will more thanlikely see you naked. You could start in the early morning and evening times. After that, in the middle of the day when they do not have friends over.

                Another thing to do is to contact the park where you are going and explain your situation. Provide your email addy or even phone number and let them know that you would like to talk with any other parents there with parents your children's ages. Also, inquire about their nudity policy. Make sure they are a clothing-optional park. Having that option to be clothed will be of comfort.

                Good luck with them.

                Bob S.

                Comment


                • #9
                  quote:
                  Originally posted by j4king:
                  [qb]It seems to me that forcing anyone to be nude against their will, at any age, goes against the whole spirit of naturism. In my view, one of the main goals is to provide environments where people feel safe and accepted to CHOOSE to be nude (whether that is at home or in public).

                  Just as we don't like being forced to wear clothes, why would we then want to force anyone to be nude?? [/qb]
                  I wasn't really talking about forcing children to adopt naturism as that would be as bad as forcing them to do anything. No, what I'm saying is that perhaps parents who genuinely believe that naturism is beneficial and who genuinely care for their children's wellbeing should be as insistent about naturism as they are about other contentious issues where they want children to do things which the kids might not want to do.

                  Many religious people have no problems in insisting that their children practise religion, non-naturists seem to have no problem in insisting that their children remain covered at all times (remember Stu?) but naturists somehow are more reluctant to insist that their children practise naturism. Is it because naturists are less sure about the benefits of naturism or is it perhaps because naturist parents fear accusations from a society which doesn't share their views?

                  I'm not saying I'm definitely right on this for I genuinely don't know, but I'm not convinced that applying the accepted wisdom of letting kids decide for themselves actually produces the desired results. It would be interesting to know if there has been any reseach into this.

                  Rik

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                  • #10
                    Having children of my own who are grown now, I know how children rebel when forced to do something they don't want to do, even if it's something that they're required to do--like going to school. I remember my own rebellion when forced to go to church as child while my parents stayed in bed.

                    Starting a 13-year-old out in nudism by saying something like "We're going to a nudist resort this weekend whether you want to or not" is not the way to do it. Smid wants to know how to INTEREST his children in nudism not how to force them.
                    Yes, Rik. Many nudists ARE afraid of accusations of "child abuse" or "sexual abuse" if the child doesn't want to be nude and is forced to do so, because society is trying too hard to "protect" children.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Great responses and advise from everyone. We are in a similar situation. We actually like the time at a reesort or camping just for us as a couple. Our kids are 17, 14, and 11. Awkward ages to start nudism for the first time. Probably around 16-18 we will tell them what we enjoy as a pastime. If they want to go, great, if not that's ok. I believe the clothing optional is a must. Let them get comfortable, maybe just shorts and barefeet for a couple visits, and then they may like the freedom. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

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                      • #12
                        thanks for all the good ideas. After reading all the posts last night we had a family talk. I have been slowly increasing the amount of time I spend nude in our home and the kids are having no problem adjusting to that. The 13tr old says he is not uncomfortable seeing me nude, and I think he is being mostly honest. He also says he is comfortable with the younger two kids being nude a little more often. The sticking point is definately about his own body. I totally understand because there is no way I would have felt comfortable without clothes at his age. He seemed opem to the idea of visiting a clothing-opptional place, where he would not have to remove his own clothing. I am most concerned because I don't want him to grow up with the same body shame that I did. It caused me lots of problems for many years and I really think it would be benificial to him, but I will not force him. I was 13 once and I know how I reacted to being forced to do anything.
                        Jon-Marc, you are absolutely correct. I am looking for ways to interest him, so hopefully he can decide he wants to see what its all about for himself. My wife and I have been very clear about this with all our children, we educate them and then let them ask questions and decide for themselves.

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                        • #13
                          smid, you sound like an awesome dad.

                          maybe you can make a special trip with just you and your son to do a "male bonding" thing that does not involve nudity but might give you the opportunity to talk about it. 13 is the transition age for many boys and i think a little closeness with his dad could not hurt to help him relate to you before he turns independant. camping alone with just him might be a good idea?!? when my kids (especially the boys, but also the girl if my wife doesn't want) turn 13, i intend on a road trip with just the 13 year old camping along the way on route to somewhere scenic. i was thinking my wife could fly with the other kids and meet us there for several days, and than we could drive back. to me its an important age (and to many religions as well), so we wanted to commemorate (spelling) it somehow. and if we happen to get naked along the way, than more fun for us...

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                          • #14
                            quote:
                            Originally posted by Jon-Marc:
                            [qb]I remember my own rebellion when forced to go to church as child while my parents stayed in bed.
                            [/qb]
                            Jon-Marc, This is exactly my point. You were forced to go to church and hey, you found religion. I bet you're glad now that your parents were so insistent. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]
                            quote:
                            [qb]Yes, Rik. Many nudists ARE afraid of accusations of "child abuse" or "sexual abuse" if the child doesn't want to be nude and is forced to do so, because society is trying too hard to "protect" children.[/qb]
                            Yes I know. Obviously we have to live in the real world but as long as we live in fear of what other people think then we shall never be free to live the life we believe we should be living.

                            Rik

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                            • #15
                              I think you should compel your son to try nudism. As long as the parents are committed to it, and aren't going to give it up after one visit, it will be fine. Remember that for him, there is no turning back once his sisters and especially his mother see him in the nude.
                              From my own experience, at 13 and even much younger, I wanted to be a nudist, and if my parents had done more than toy around with and joke about the idea of becoming nudists, I would have secretly been delighted that we did it. As it was, I didn't want to risk even the ridicule of my family, especially the grins of my mother, if they turned out not to be as into it as I would be.
                              I've met teenagers who had started practicing nudism with their parents around age 14. They stayed with it. I've met parents who forced their daughter to join, because they considered it dangerous to leave a teenager at home alone all weekend while they were in their nudist camp; "put a gun to her head" was how they described the degree of compulsion (it was a joke, of course). Since the first time, she loved it.
                              Let's remember that a normal boy, especially a teenager, has a fascination with the nude bodies of either sex. Nothing is wrong with this! We nudists are allowed to look at each other's bodies, even the genitals. No part is obscene. I believe most teenage men, even those who do not become nudists, would love the freedom of not just sleeping and swimming nude, but of walking around nude and being seen by others nude. It's not exhibitionism, it's not a stage of development, it's just natural. If human beings were meant to go around naked, they would have been born that way.

                              Make him go. If there are nudists around his age already there, and the weather is hot, he should come around!

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