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  • I'd like to introduce my wife to nudism.

    I'm just writting for oppinions and advice. It would be especially interesting to hear stories similar to my own. Here's my story:

    I have always wanted to try nudism. Two years ago I finally did and it has been more relaxing and liberating than I ever imagined. One year ago, I married my wife (after I was a nudist). She has no problems with being nude at home (quite often). Social nudity is another thing, though. While we had talked about it, she does not seem interested in trying it. So, I don't bring it up anymore. She has a fear of being seen by someone she knows.

    I still go to nude beaches (San O. and sometimes Black's), though she doesn't know, when ever I go alone...for relaxation and the convinience of dressing/undressing my wetsuit for surfing.

    For some time I have known my brother to be a nudist. We're very close, but don't talk about nudism. So, he does not know I am. I recently found out that his girlfriend is now also a nudist. I'm happy for him. My wife, my brother, his girlfriend, and I are all good friends. I just with this was something we could share, but I don't feel like I can tell my wife that they are or that I am or even tell them that I am also. I feel like I have to play dodge ball being we go to the same beach. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

    When summer comes again, I might try asking my wife again. I just with there were somewhere secluded (even more so than a resort) that just the two of us could introduce her to it at. I'm certain she would go nude outside if it was just the two of us. She has even flashed me at the beach or driven home from the beach nude. I know she has the mindset, I just don't know how to take the next step. I'm tierd of experiencing nude beaches alone. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img]

    So, here's my questions:

    Is it wrong to go alone?
    Is not telling her bad?
    Do any of you have similar experiences and have resolved them even?
    Any other advice?

    I'm interested in hearing the responses.

    [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img] Thanks

  • #2
    I'm just writting for oppinions and advice. It would be especially interesting to hear stories similar to my own. Here's my story:

    I have always wanted to try nudism. Two years ago I finally did and it has been more relaxing and liberating than I ever imagined. One year ago, I married my wife (after I was a nudist). She has no problems with being nude at home (quite often). Social nudity is another thing, though. While we had talked about it, she does not seem interested in trying it. So, I don't bring it up anymore. She has a fear of being seen by someone she knows.

    I still go to nude beaches (San O. and sometimes Black's), though she doesn't know, when ever I go alone...for relaxation and the convinience of dressing/undressing my wetsuit for surfing.

    For some time I have known my brother to be a nudist. We're very close, but don't talk about nudism. So, he does not know I am. I recently found out that his girlfriend is now also a nudist. I'm happy for him. My wife, my brother, his girlfriend, and I are all good friends. I just with this was something we could share, but I don't feel like I can tell my wife that they are or that I am or even tell them that I am also. I feel like I have to play dodge ball being we go to the same beach. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

    When summer comes again, I might try asking my wife again. I just with there were somewhere secluded (even more so than a resort) that just the two of us could introduce her to it at. I'm certain she would go nude outside if it was just the two of us. She has even flashed me at the beach or driven home from the beach nude. I know she has the mindset, I just don't know how to take the next step. I'm tierd of experiencing nude beaches alone. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img]

    So, here's my questions:

    Is it wrong to go alone?
    Is not telling her bad?
    Do any of you have similar experiences and have resolved them even?
    Any other advice?

    I'm interested in hearing the responses.

    [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img] Thanks

    Comment


    • #3
      The smiley face in paragraph 4 was an accident

      Opps [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img]

      Comment


      • #4
        quote:
        Originally posted by Fresh Air:
        [qb]I'm just writting for oppinions and advice. It would be especially interesting to hear stories similar to my own. Here's my story:

        I have always wanted to try nudism. Two years ago I finally did and it has been more relaxing and liberating than I ever imagined. One year ago, I married my wife (after I was a nudist). She has no problems with being nude at home (quite often). Social nudity is another thing, though. While we had talked about it, she does not seem interested in trying it. So, I don't bring it up anymore. She has a fear of being seen by someone she knows.

        I still go to nude beaches (San O. and sometimes Black's), though she doesn't know, when ever I go alone...for relaxation and the convinience of dressing/undressing my wetsuit for surfing.

        For some time I have known my brother to be a nudist. We're very close, but don't talk about nudism. So, he does not know I am. I recently found out that his girlfriend is now also a nudist. I'm happy for him. My wife, my brother, his girlfriend, and I are all good friends. I just with this was something we could share, but I don't feel like I can tell my wife that they are or that I am or even tell them that I am also. I feel like I have to play dodge ball being we go to the same beach. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

        When summer comes again, I might try asking my wife again. I just with there were somewhere secluded (even more so than a resort) that just the two of us could introduce her to it at. I'm certain she would go nude outside if it was just the two of us. She has even flashed me at the beach or driven home from the beach nude. I know she has the mindset, I just don't know how to take the next step. I'm tierd of experiencing nude beaches alone. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img]

        So, here's my questions:

        Is it wrong to go alone?
        Is not telling her bad?
        Do any of you have similar experiences and have resolved them even?
        Any other advice?

        I'm interested in hearing the responses.

        [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img] Thanks[/qb]

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi Fresh Air.....You have got to keep the communications open..Going alone to the beach and purposely not telling your wife does not seem to me a good idea. With the 3of the 4 of you close friends into naturism gentle Friendly peruasion should eventually win her over. But above all avoid taking her to a place where she might have a bad experience...That could really set back your cause. Been there ..done that and am sorry. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img]

          Comment


          • #6
            quote:
            Originally posted by Fresh Air:
            [qb]

            So, here's my questions:

            Is it wrong to go alone?
            Is not telling her bad?
            Do any of you have similar experiences and have resolved them even?
            Any other advice?

            I'm interested in hearing the responses.

            [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img] Thanks[/qb]
            I cannot understand why you do not want to talk to your wife about it. Only married a year, go for it. If you can't talk now about someting so simple, then you're doomed later.
            Not wrong to go alone, wrong not to tell her about it.
            Tell her about it first, after taling with her then tell your brother. I've been to Blacks, there are plenty of times when you can be "alone" there.
            From your post, it seems she may be associating sex with the nudity a little too much (riding home nude, etc). That is the first thing to get across, that nude beaches are not supposed to be a sexual place.
            Second, that she does not have to be nude with you if you go to the beach. Plenty of "mixed" couples there.
            Third, don't push her into it, just open it up to her. Let her move at her pace.
            Fourth, if it doesn't work out, either forget about it and keep your cloths on from now on, or tell her take a hike. Innocent sneaking around forever will not work, and there is no need for it.
            Before my first time nude at a beach, my wife knew that I wanted to go to one, and she talked about it as a possibility, but was reserved about it. When I was in San Diego for business, i "stumbled upon" Blacks beach. I went and tried it, and loved it. As soon as I got home, I told my wife about it, and later that year, we went to an unofficial nude area together. Just be honest, but not pushy.

            Comment


            • #7
              Fresh Air -

              You're getting wise counsel from others who have responded. I would advise anyone who wants to have a solid, rewarding marriage that rule #1 is make sure that your wife is the first person to hear of anything that you do that might be misunderstood. Nothing undermines trust like keeping secrets.

              There's another part of your message that is intriguing. You have a close relationship with other naturists, and you can't even tell them of your interest? If not them, who? Most people would love to know others in their close circle who are naturists.

              Are you sure that you're grown up enough yet to be trying naturism? I don't have the impression that you yet have an adult sense that "I run my own life now, and I've decided to explore naturism."

              Think about it.

              Back to your original question: if your circumstances allow, take her far enough from home that she will feel comfortable that she's not going to meet someone she knows. This truly is a big issue for some women. For some men, too, for that matter.

              Good luck.
              [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

              Comment


              • #8
                quote:
                Originally posted by Fresh Air:
                [qb]So, here's my questions:

                Is it wrong to go alone?
                Is not telling her bad?
                Do any of you have similar experiences and have resolved them even?
                Any other advice?[/qb]
                Purely my personal opinion here, but the answers to your questions would be no, it depends, yes and no, and yes. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

                I don't think it's wrong to go alone. As for not telling her, that depends on your relationship. Some marriages work very well with each partner realizing that the rings don't end one's privacy or enjoyment of individual pursuits; others don't.

                As for advice: well, if you already know your brother enjoys nudism, why don't the you two plan a couples vacation for just the four of you? It doesn't have to be to a nudist resort. How about someplace in the mountains with a private hottub? Suggest that everyone (or at least those who want) go nude in the tub. From there, especially if she's already a bit inclined in that direction, it might be just a short leap to staying nude out of the tub.

                Either way, good luck! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

                Comment


                • #9
                  i'm interested to know why you have not spoken to your brother about it? i like the idea of planning a secluded vacation with the four of you, but first maybe plan a long private getaway with only your wife and introduce some naked fun just for the two of you. but make sure it is non-sexual so that she does not assume every time you get naked, it is associated with sex. also, i think you should discuss your interest in nudism with her, it seems as though she is open minded about it. in my opinion, you guys are too early in a relationship to have your secrets. it might be that she does not want to attend the nude events with you and you end up experiencing these things alone, but with her approval. no sneaking around, that's my advice.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi

                    Thanks for all the honest oppinions. They are really helpful. I guess I could clarify some things.

                    I like to surf. When I go to the beach, I usually go with my wife or brother. I sometimes go to a nude beach when I go surfing alone, but surfing is still my primary reason I'm at the beach. I don't socialize or go to the highly congregated areas. I do see your point(s) though. I'm starting to agree that perhaps I shouldn't go If I have to "hide" it...ie, that I can't talk about it openly.

                    I actually have talked about it with my wife. Asked her views (doubtfully, not enthusiastic about trying it) and told her mine (It doesn't bother me). I have just never told her that I've tried it before and still occasionally. I just don't feel that she would fully understand without trying it first.

                    We both were raised Christian, she more conservative than I, and there often are stigmatisms associated with things like nudism that are hard to overturn. This is also why my family (brother included) don't discuss some topics...nudism included. We haven't seen eachother naked since we were around five. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

                    The four of us is a good idea, but I don't think it would work...I do like the idea about the two of us and non-sexual naked fun. That's a really good idea.

                    Thanks outdoorbare, BrianM, luvnaturism, vin, and florida-david for your responses. They make me think [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                    I'm thinking I'll not go alone anymore. If I go to tan only, I will probobly be to a secluded area (like a hot spring) where no one usually is. She knows I've done that and doesn't mind. I'm still going to try to slowly leak it to her.

                    Thanks again!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Just to add a little more to this. I had a similar experience with my wife.

                      When we were younger many of our holidays were spent in France where nudist beaches are fairly easy to find. I always mangaged to arrange it so that the beaches we chose to go to were nudist although she just assumed it was coincidental that just about every beach we visited was nudist. So for many years she accepted that I would go nude although she didn't want to do it herself.

                      Then, perhaps 5 years ago, I started to go on solo camping trips and on one of these trips I discovered the joys of nudist camping. During my stay away I'd spoken everday to my wife on the telephone but didn't mention I was staying at a nudist site. When I got home I felt guilty so I told her but I guess I made it sound like I'd just stumbled on this place and thought "why not give it a try?". Her immediate reaction was along the lines of "it's up to you what you do but I don't really want to know too much about it". But I felt a slight burden being lifted off me for telling her.

                      The following year I did the same and although I assumed she knew I would stay at nudist camp sites it wasn't until I got back that I "confessed" all. This time we had a resonable conversation about it, I showed her some camping brochures I'd picked up on the way, she asked some questions (like "you mean there were no orgies?") and I also said that in future I would seek out nudist sites when I went off on my trips. She was, and still is, quite comfortable about this and I felt liberated that we had spoken so openly.

                      These days we always go to clothing optional beaches. She always keeps her bikini bottom on but is completely comfortable with the nudity she sees around her.

                      You said "I have always wanted to try nudism. Two years ago I finally did and it has been more relaxing and liberating than I ever imagined." If, next time you go to a nude beach alone, you're open and honest with your wife about it I'm sure you will feel even more liberated and hopefully it will pave the way to being able to go to nude beaches together.

                      Good luck.

                      Rik

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        You probably know your wife better than anybody. I can't guess how she will react. But I do know that you won't be happy keeping secrets from her. You need to talk about what makes you happy, and tell her how important it is to you.
                        Don't wait 25 years to find out that she was waiting for you to make the first move.
                        Communication is the key to a happy marriage. Even if you don't get the answer you want, it's better than not asking the question.

                        Steve

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          all good advise - i think you should work nudity into both of your lives slowly and it sounds like she might eventually agree that the nude surfing/beach trip is ok. i would suggest to not immediately give up your beach trips as this is something you do for yourself that you find enjoyable; some things in a marriage are done solely for YOUR enjoyment and not your partners. hopefully she has things she lkes doing on her own that you might not agree with for yourself. my wife makes a yearly yoga retreat with her best friend (female). neither myself or her friends' husband object - we know it is a little indulgence done for their personal recreation. i make a solo yearly camping trip - we all need an innocent break from our married life and our kids.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            quote:
                            Originally posted by florida-david:
                            [qb]... i make a solo yearly camping trip - we all need an innocent break from our married life and our kids.[/qb]
                            Well said. Partnerships are strengthened by the partners sometimes being independent but they are never strengthened by deceit.

                            Rik

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              quote:
                              Originally posted by Rik:
                              [qb]Partnerships are strengthened by the partners sometimes being independent but they are never strengthened by deceit.[/qb]
                              Excellent point. But it raises a question: where is the line between independence and deceit? I ask that honestly, because quite frankly I don't know how to answer it right now.

                              Comment

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