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  • me again...new dilemma

    Ok here's my dilemma...well it isn't really mine...but I'm asking on behalf of a friend.
    Ok I have this friend who is really interested in trying out naturism. We have talked about it for quite some time now and she really wants to try it, the problem is that she has a b/f. The problem is that she asked him if he wanted to try it with her and he said no and that he didn't want her to try it either (he doesn't want people seeing her nude etc) so I suggested to her that if it is something she really wants to do then do it and do mention it to him. But she doesn't want to not tell him something like this for fear that if he found out he would dump her. Now my feelings on the matter is that if he truly loves her and trusts her then he would let her try it and maybe join her (without going nude if he wished to keep an "eye" on her). Or just let her go by herself. Yet I am an outside observer. Just curious if anyone else has any input? Thanks a bunch
    L [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

  • #2
    Ok here's my dilemma...well it isn't really mine...but I'm asking on behalf of a friend.
    Ok I have this friend who is really interested in trying out naturism. We have talked about it for quite some time now and she really wants to try it, the problem is that she has a b/f. The problem is that she asked him if he wanted to try it with her and he said no and that he didn't want her to try it either (he doesn't want people seeing her nude etc) so I suggested to her that if it is something she really wants to do then do it and do mention it to him. But she doesn't want to not tell him something like this for fear that if he found out he would dump her. Now my feelings on the matter is that if he truly loves her and trusts her then he would let her try it and maybe join her (without going nude if he wished to keep an "eye" on her). Or just let her go by herself. Yet I am an outside observer. Just curious if anyone else has any input? Thanks a bunch
    L [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

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    • #3
      It sounds like maybe her boyfriend may want unhealthy control over her, and that she feels insecure in opposing her boyfriend's will.

      However, her being naked with you alone at a nudist venue is not a good idea, as that momentous senario would increase his insecurity and would not be good for their relationship. If they could not go together, hopefully she could find some women friends to go with.

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      • #4
        I agree with the fact that THE B/F MAY be a control freak, at which point, it's not a good thing no matter how it's boiled down. In my relationship things like this were tried and failed. I'm like, "yah right, anyways". She should be her own person and HE should get over himself. As for a possible breakup? Either he let's her have her own space or he needs to grow up.
        Now as far as the nude thing. If you were a girl, I would say have a girls night/day out and let her decide if she likes it. But seeing that you're a fairly young dude this turns into a GUY THING and having you nude in front of his g/f makes for HIS little green monster to crawl out of his...let's just say it's not the 'shoulder' region that'll be doing the talking/thinking here. I would give her the information on the where's and how's but until the b/f comes around maturity wise, I'd tread lightly for now.

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        • #5
          nude in wpg,

          I agree with the previous posts.
          He has no business telling her where she can go.
          I am sure there is a good psychological term for her problem, but in my own words: any girl with a shred of self-respect and independence would have walked out of a relationship with such a control freak.

          Nude in wpg, it almost sounds like she would rather be YOUR girlfriend, but is too cowardly to get out of a bad relationship. But would she become a control freak herself if she had a non-control freak boyfriend?

          As long as he is not the psycho type, that is: someone who would come after you with a gun in a jealous rage, I'd say she might make a fun person to take as a casual date to the nudist resort. As a practical consideration, a lot of these nudist places won't let a guy go stag.

          But she seems to be way too insecure or maybe immature to make a good girlfriend for you. Take her to the resort if you can, but keep her at arm's length, keep it cool.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi Nude in Wpg,

            I'm 3 hours SW of you, in northern North Dakota, USA. Getting pretty late in the year to take the young lady (if it's even possible) to either Crocus Grove, or Musqua. However, maybe Crocus Grove will be having nude swims in Winnepeg again this winter, like they did last winter. Something to find out from a club member up there.

            If they do, then that's another possibility for your lady friend to consider if she's really serious about trying nudity....going skinnydipping at a nude swim [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

            Take care and stay bare everyone

            Dewey

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            • #7
              If she thinks he's too restrictive now, just wait until she marries him, if she does. It will get far worse. A contol freak wants to control EVERYTHING his wife does, where she goes, and who she sees, even her female friends. Her life would be hell on earth with this weirdo.

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              • #8
                quote:
                Originally posted by David77:
                [qb] It sounds like maybe her boyfriend may want unhealthy control over her, and that she feels insecure in opposing her boyfriend's will.
                [/qb]
                Or it could be the boyfriend just feels insecure in the relationship. Perhaps HE should go first in order to separate the reality of nudism from what he imagines.

                A couple of points;
                1) Preventing a partner from doing something they want is not going to strengthen a relationship. We all make compromises, but self-denial is not the glue that holds us together.
                2) He obviously thinks of nudity as only sexual and needs to be taught outherwise, whether he ever participates or not. Right now he probably thinks his girlfriend's pal is a pervert and may be wondering about her.
                3) Other people (including men) will look at and covet his girlfriend whether she is clothed or not, if SHE is happy and secure in the relationship HE doesn't have to worry.

                -Mark

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                • #9
                  If he won't let her go where she wants to....

                  Then she should tell him "Where to Go"!

                  Steve

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thanks for all the input. I dont think he's a control freak (just a little over protective), and there isnt much chance of them breaking up, and I already got a g/f. But thanks again all.

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                    • #11
                      WPG,

                      I am assuming you all are kind of young.

                      Adults don't tell other adults that they can't go to nudist resorts (or anyplace else).

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                      • #12
                        Since you now state that you already have a girlfriend, one would wonder how your girlfriend would feel about the plan you are considering, going with the other girl.

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                        • #13
                          Well then...ask your girl friend if she wants to go and if so if your friend friend can come along. Or have them go nude somewhere together. Chances are no one in this particular circle is really ready to be free. "Ownership" of women (or of male partners for that matter)is only one of the many evils of attitude that body acceptance only starts to address. Always try not to "hurt" anyone by your actions but if you want to be free expect to bother SOMEONE. Life is compromises and you have to find your middle ground. So, is personal freedom worth loosing a relationship over? Damned right.

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                          • #14
                            If I had a girlfriend who didn't want to go to the resort with me and didn't want me to go, I would say, "It's been nice knowing you. Goodbye!"

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              It is her desicion. I suppose it boils down to her choosing between what she wants and what her boyfriend wants. Both decisions are valid. In relationships there is giving and taking (sharing) and sacrifice is often a byproduct of love.

                              That said, I agree with Stevedaoust. The situation seems to revolve around you somewhat. I don't feel that her bf would have a problem if it was just her alone trying nudism by herself. Even if it was with another girl. But you have to expect that someone who can not understand motivations of nudism can not comprehend the innocence of coed social nudity.

                              One lie will only lead to another if that is the path she chooses. I would advise her to either tell the truth or seek more honorable (aka respectable to her bf) ways of discovering nudism.

                              Fresh Air

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